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Quotes & Funnies

All Living Creatures

A lot of people spend time talking to animals but not that many people listen. That's the real problem.
- Winnie the Pooh

Our task must be to free ourselves ... by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. - Albert Einstein

Ask the animals and they will teach you. - Job 12:7

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.
- Mahatma Gandhi

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained.
I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

Cats

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Unknown

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. - Anonymous

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. - Ellen Perry Berkeley

One cat just leads to another - Ernest Hemingway

Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. - Joseph Wood Krutch

I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. - Albert Schweitzer

The cat has too much spirit to have no heart. - Ernest Menaul

Time spent with cats is never wasted. - Colette

You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats. - Colonial American proverb

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch

Cat's aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit. - John S. Nichols

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

Dogs

Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. - Anonymous

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. In return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. - M. Ackklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people,
who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

If I have any doubts about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very, few persons. - James Hurber

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. - Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, when we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters in earth! - Anne Tyler

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give yo a look that says, "Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" - Dave Barry

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in you pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. - Phil Pastoret

Horses

God forbid that I should go to any Heaven in which there are no horses. - Robert B. Cunninghame-Graham

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