TABLE OF DISCONTENTS
It's perhaps fitting that I write this introduction in jail-
that graduate school of survival. Here you learn how to use toothpaste as
glue, fashion a shiv out of a spoon and build intricate communication
networks. Here too, you learn the only rehabilitation possible-hatred of
Steal This Book is, in a way, a manual of survival in the prison
that is Amerika. It preaches jailbreak. It shows you where exactly how to
place the dynamite that will destroy the walls. The first
section-SURVIVE!-lays out a potential action program for our new Nation. The
chapter headings spell out the demands for a free society. A community where
the technology produces goods and services for whoever needs them, come who
may. It calls on the Robin Hoods of Santa Barbara Forest to steal from the
robber barons who own the castles of capitalism. It implies that the reader
already is "ideologically set," in that he understands corporate feudalism as
the only robbery worthy of being called "crime," for it is committed against
the people as a whole. Whether the ways it describes to rip-off shit are legal
or illegal is irrelevant. The dictionary of law is written by the bosses of
order. Our moral dictionary says no heisting from each other. To steal from a
brother or sister is evil. To not steal from the institutions that are the
pillars of the Pig Empire is equally immoral.
Community within our Nation, chaos in theirs; that is the
message of SURVIVE!
We cannot survive without learning to fight and that is the
lesson in the second section. FIGHT! separates revolutionaries from outlaws.
The purpose of part two is not to fuck the system, but destroy it. The weapons
are carefully chosen. They are "home-made," in that they are designed for use
in our unique electronic jungle. Here the uptown reviewer will find ample
proof of our "violent" nature. But again, the dictionary of law fails us.
Murder in a uniform is heroic, in a costume it is a crime. False
advertisements win awards, forgers end up in jail. Inflated prices guarantee
large profits while shoplifters are punished. Politicians conspire to create
police riots and the victims are convicted in the courts. Students are gunned
down and then indicted by suburban grand juries as the trouble-makers. A
modern, highly mechanized army travels 9,000 miles to commit genocide against
a small nation of great vision and then accuses its people of aggression.
Slumlords allow rats to maim children and then complain of violence in the
streets. Everything is topsy-turvy. If we internalize the language and imagery
of the pigs, we will forever be fucked. Let me illustrate the point. Amerika
was built on the slaughter of a people. That is its history. For years we
watched movie after movie that demonstrated the white man's benevolence. Jimmy
Stewart, the epitome of fairness, puts his arm around Cochise and tells how
the Indians and the whites can live in peace if only both sides will be
reasonable, responsible and rational (the three R's imperialists always teach
the "natives"). "You will find good grazing land on the other side of the
mountain," drawls the public relations man. "Take your people and go in
peace." Cochise as well as millions of youngsters in the balcony of learning,
were being dealt off the bottom of the deck. The Indians should have offed
Jimmy Stewart in every picture and we should have cheered ourselves hoarse.
Until we understand the nature of institutional violence and how it
manipulates values and mores to maintain the power of the few, we will forever
be imprisoned in the caves of ignorance. When we conclude that bank robbers
rather than bankers should be the trustees of the universities, then we begin
to think clearly. When we see the Army Mathematics Research and Development
Center and the Bank of Amerika as cesspools of violence, filling the minds of
our young with hatred, turning one against another, then we begin to think
Be clever using section two; clever as a snake. Dig the spirit
of the struggle. Don't get hung up on a sacrifice trip. Revolution is not
about suicide, it is about life. With your fingers probe the holiness of your
body and see that it was meant to live. Your body is just one in a mass of
cuddly humanity. Become an internationalist and learn to respect all life.
Make war on machines, and in particular the sterile machines of corporate
death and the robots that guard them. The duty of a revolutionary is to make
love and that means staying alive and free. That doesn't allow for cop-outs.
Smoking dope and hanging up Che's picture is no more a commitment than
drinking milk and collecting postage stamps. A revolution in consciousness is
an empty high without a revolution in the distribution of power. We are not
interested in the greening of Amerika except for the grass that will cover its
Section three - LIBERATE! - concerns itself with efforts to free
stuff (or at least make it cheap) in four cities. Sort of a quick U.S. on no
dollars a day. It begins to scratch the potential for a national effort in
this area. Since we are a nation of gypsies, dope on how to move around and
dig in anywhere is always needed. Together we can expand this section. It is
far from complete, as is the entire project. Incomplete chapters on how to
identify police agents, steal a car, run day-care centers, conduct your own
trial, organize a G.I. coffee house, start a rock and roll band and make neat
clothes, are scattered all over the floor of the cell. The book as it now
stands was completed in the late summer of 1970. For three months manuscripts
made the rounds of every major publisher. In all, over 30 rejections occurred
before the decision to publish the book ourselves was made, or rather made for
us. Perhaps no other book in modern times presented such a dilemma. Everyone
agreed the book would be a commercial success. But even greed had its limits,
and the IRS and FBI following the manuscript with their little jive rap had a
telling effect. Thirty "yeses" become thirty "noes" after "thinking it over."
Liberals, who supposedly led the fight against censorship, talked of how the
book "will end free speech."
Finally the day we were bringing the proofs to the printer,
Grove consented to act as distributor. To pull a total solo trip, including
distribution, would have been neat, but such an effort would be doomed from
the start. We had tried it before and blew it. In fact, if anyone is
interested in 4,000 1969 Yippie calendars, they've got a deal. Even with a
distributor joining the fight, the battle will only begin when the books come
off the press. There is a saying that "Freedom of the press belongs to those
who own one." In past eras, this was probably the case, but now, high speed
methods of typesetting, offset printing and a host of other developments have
made substantial reductions in printing costs. Literally anyone is free to
print their own works. In even the most repressive society imaginable, you can
get away with some form of private publishing. Because Amerika allows this,
does not make it the democracy Jefferson envisioned. Repressive tolerance is a
real phenomenon. To talk of true freedom of the press, we must talk of the
availability of the channels of communication that are designed to reach the
entire population, or at least that segment of the population that might
participate in such a dialogue. Freedom of the press belongs to those that own
the distribution system. Perhaps that has always been the case, but in a mass
society where nearly everyone is instantaneously plugged into a variety of
national communications systems, wide-spread dissemination of the information
is the crux of the matter. To make the claim that the right to print your own
book means freedom of the press is to completely misunderstand the nature of a
mass society. It is like making the claim that anyone with a pushcart can
challenge Safeway supermarkets, or that any child can grow up to be
State legislators, librarians, PTA members, FBI agents,
church-goers, and parents: a veritable legion of decency and order already is
on the march. To get the book to you might be the biggest challenge we face.
The next few months should prove really exciting.
Obviously such a project as Steal This Book could not have been
carried out alone. Izak Haber shared the vision from the beginning. He did
months of valuable research and contributed many of the survival techniques.
Carole Ramer and Gus Reichbach of the New York Law Commune guided the book
through its many stages. Anna Kaufman Moon did almost all the photographs. The
cartoonists who have made contributions include Ski Williamson and Gilbert
Sheldon. Tom Forcade, of the UPS, patiently did the editing. Bert Cohen of
Concert Hall did the book's graphic design. Amber and John Wilcox set the
type. Anita Hoffman and Lynn Borman helped me rewrite a number of sections.
There are others who participated in the testing of many of the techniques
demonstrated in the following pages and for obvious reasons have to remain
anonymous. There were perhaps over 50 brothers and sisters who played
particularly vital roles in the grand conspiracy. Some of the many others are
listed on the following page. We hope to keep the information up to date. If
you have comments, law suits, suggestions or death threats, please send them
to: Dear Abbie P.0. Box 213, Cooper Station, New York, NY 10003. Many of the
tips might not work in your area, some might be obsolete by the time you get
to try them out, and many addresses and phone numbers might be changed. If the
reader becomes a participating researcher then we will have achieved our
Watch for a special edition called Steal This White House,
complete with blueprints of underground passages, methods of jamming the
communications network and a detailed map of the celebrated room where
according to Tricia Nixon, "Daddy loves to listen to Mantovanni records, turn
up the air conditioner full blast, sit by the fireplace, gaze out the window
to the Washington Monument and meditate on those difficult problems that face
all the peoples of this
"FREE SPEECH IS THE RIGHT TO SHOUT
'THEATER' IN A CROWDED FIRE."
- A YIPPIE PROVERB
AIDING AND ABETTING
Tim Leary, Tom, Geronimo, Pearl Paperhanger, Sonny, Pat Solomon,
Allan Katzman, Jacob Kohn, Nguyen Van Troi, Susan, Marty, Andy, Ami, Marshall
Bloom, Viva, Ben, Oanh, Robin Palmer, Mom and Dad, Janie Fonda, Jerry, Denis,
LNS, Bernadine Dohrn, a wall in Harvard Square, Nancy, an anonymous
stewardess, Shirley Wonderful, Roz, Gumbo, Janis, Jimi, Dylan Liberation
Front, Jeannie, God Slick, John, David, Rusty, Barney, Richard, Denny, Ron
Cobb, the entire Viet Cong, Sam Shephard, Ma Bell, Eric, David, Joe, Kim
Agnew, the Partridge Family, Carol, Alan Ginsburg, Woman's Lib, Julius Lester,
Lenny Bruce, Hack, Billy, Paul, Willy, Colleen, Sid, Johnny Appleseed, the
Rat, Craig, Che, Willie Sutton, Wanda, EVO, Jeff, Crazy Horse, Huey, Casey,
Bobby, Alice, Mao, Rip, Ed, Bob, Gay Liberation Front, WPAX, Frank Dudock,
Manny, Mungo, Lottie, Rosemary, Marshall, Rennie, Judy, Jennifer, Mr. Martin,
Keith, Madame Binh, Mike, Eleanor, Dr. Spock, Afeni, Candice, the Tupamaros,
Berkeley Tribe, Gilbert Sheldon, Stanley Kubrick, Sam, Anna, Skip Williamson,
UPS, Andy Stapp, the Yippies, Richard Brautigan, Jano, Carlos Marighella, the
Weathermen, Julius Jennings Hoffman, Quentin, the inmates of TIER A-l Cook
County Jail, Houdini, 37, Rosa Luxemberg, the Kent 25, the Chicago 15, the New
York 21, the Motor City 3, the Indianapolis 500, Jack, Joan, Malcolm X,
Mayakovsky, Dotson, R. Crumb, Daniel Clyne, Justin, The FBI Top 10 (now 16),
Unis, Dana, Jim Morrison, Brian, John, Gus, Ruth, Nancy Unger, Pun, Jomo,
Peter, Mark Rudd, Billy Kunstler, Genie, Ken, the Law Commune, Paula, Robby,
Terry, Dianna, Angela, Ted, Phil, Jefferson Airplane, Len, Tricky Prickers,
the Berrigans, Stu, Rayanne, J.B., Jonathan Jackson, the Armstrong Brothers,
Homer, Sharon, Fred Hampton, Jean Jacques Lebel, A. H. Maslow, Hanoi Rose,
Sylvia, Fellini, Amaru, Ann Fettamen, Artaud, Bert, Merrill, Lynne, and last
but not least to Spiro what's his name who provided the incentive.
In a country such as Amerika, there is bound to be a
hell-of-a-lot food lying around just waiting to be ripped off. If you want to
live high off the hog without having to do the dishes, restaurants are easy
pickings. In general, many of these targets are easier marks if you are
wearing the correct uniform. You should always have one suit or fashionable
dress outfit hanging in the closet for the proper heists. Specialized
uniforms, such as nun and priest garb, can be most helpful. Check out your
local uniform store for a wide range of clothes that will get you in, and
especially out, of all kinds of stores. Every movement organization should
have a prop and costume department.
In every major city there are usually bars that cater to the New
Generation type riff-raff, trying to hustle their way up the escalator of Big
Business. Many of these bars have a buffet or hors-d'oeuvres served free as a
come-on to drink more mindless booze. Take a half-empty glass from a table and
use it as a prop to ward off the anxious waitress. Walk around sampling the
free food until you've had enough. Often, there are five or six such bars in
close proximity, so moving around can produce a delightful "street
smorgasbord." Dinner usually begins at 5:00 PM.
If you are really hungry, you can go into a self-service
cafeteria and finish the meal of someone who left a lot on the plate.
Self-service restaurants are usually good places to cop things like mustard,
ketchup, salt, sugar, toilet paper, silverware and cups for home use. Bring an
empty school bag and load up after you've cased the joint. Also, if you can
stomach the food, you can use slugs at the automat. Finishing leftovers can be
worked in even the fanciest of restaurants. When you are seated at a place
where the dishes still remain, chow-down real quick. Then after the waitress
hands you the menu, say you have to meet someone outside first, and leave.
There are still some places where you can get all you can eat
for a fixed price. The best of these places are in Las Vegas. Sew a plastic
bag onto your tee-shirt or belt and wear a loose-fitting jacket or coat to
cover any noticeable bulge. Fried chicken is the best and the easiest to
pocket, or should we say bag. Another trick is to pour your second free cup of
hot coffee into the plastic bag sewed inside your pocket and take it with
At large take-out stands you can say you or your brother just
picked up an order of fifteen hamburgers or a bucket of chicken, and got
shorted. We have never seen or heard of anybody getting turned down using this
method. If you want to get into a grand food heist from take-out stands, you
can work the following nervy bit: from a pay phone, place an order from a
large delivery restaurant. Have the order sent to a nearby apartment house.
Wait a few minutes in the booth after you've hung up, as they sometimes call
back to confirm the order. When the delivery man goes into the apartment house
to deliver the order, you can swipe the remaining orders that are still in his
In fancy sit-down restaurants, you can order a large meal and
halfway through the main course, take a little dead cockroach or a piece of
glass out of your pocket and place it deftly on the plate. Jump up astonished
and summon the headwaiter. "Never have I been so insulted. I could have been
poisoned" you scream slapping down the napkin. You can refuse to pay and
leave, or let the waiter talk you into having a brand new meal on the house
for this terrible inconvenience.
In restaurants where you pay at the door just before leaving,
there are a number of free-loading tricks that can be utilized. After you've
eaten a full meal and gotten the check, go into the restroom. When you come
out go to the counter or another section of the restaurant and order coffee
and pie. Now you have two bills. Simply pay the cheaper one when you leave the
place. This can be worked with a friend in the following way. Sit next to each
other at the counter. He should order a big meal and you a cup of coffee.
Pretend you don't know each other. When he leaves, he takes your check and
leaves the one for the large meal on the counter. After he has paid the
cashier and left the restaurant, you pick up the large check, and then go into
the astonishment routine, complaining that somebody took the wrong check. You
end up only paying for your coffee. Later, meet your partner and reverse the
roles in another place.
In all these methods, you should leave a good tip for the waiter
or waitress, especially with the roach-in-the-plate gambit. You should try to
avoid getting the employees in trouble or screwing them out of a tip.
One fantastic method of not only getting free food but getting
the best available is the following technique that can be used in metropolitan
areas. Look in a large magazine shop for gourmet digests and tourist manuals.
Swipe one or two and copy down a good name from the masthead inside the cover.
Making up a name can also work. Next invest $5.00 to print business cards with
the name of the magazine and the new "associate editor." Call or simply drop
into a fancy restaurant, show a copy of the magazine and present the manager
with your card. They will insist that the meal be on the house.
Great places to get fantastic meals are weddings, bar-mitzvahs,
testimonials and the like. The newspaper society sections have lists of
weddings and locations. If your city has a large Jewish population, subscribe
to the newspaper that services the Jewish community. There are extensive lists
in these papers of family occasions where tons of good food is served. Show up
at the back of the synagogue a few hours after the affair has begun with a
story of how you'd like to bring some leftovers of "good Jewish food" back to
your fraternity or sorority. If you want to get the food served to you out
front, you naturally have to disguise yourself to look straight. Remarks such
as, "I'm Marvin's cousin," or learning the bride's name, "Gee, Dorothy looks
marvelous" are great. Lines like "Betty doesn't look pregnant" are frowned
upon. A man and woman team can work this free-load much better than a single
person as they can chatter back and forth while stuffing themselves.
If you're really into a classy free meal, and you are in a city
with a large harbor, check out the passenger ship section in the back pages of
the newspaper. There you find the schedule of departures for ocean cruises.
Most trips (these kind, anyway) begin with a fantastic bon voyage party on
board ship. Just walk on a few hours before departure time and start swinging.
Champagne, caviar, lobster, shrimp and more, all as free as the open seas. If
you get really bombed and miss getting off, you can also wiggle a ride across
the ocean. You get sent back as soon as you hit the other side, but it's a
free ocean cruise. You should have a pretty good story ready to go, or you
might end up rowing in the galley.
Another possibility for getting a free meal is to go down to the
docks and get friendly with a sailor. He can often invite you for dinner on
board ship. Foreign sailors are more than glad to meet friends and you can get
great foreign dinners this way.
In Amerika, there is a national food stamp program that
unfortunately is controlled by the states. Many states, for racist reasons, do
not want to make it too available or to publicize the fact that it even
exists. It is a much better deal than the food program connected with welfare,
because you can use the stamps to buy any kind of food. The only items
excluded are tobacco products and alcoholic beverages. In general, you can
qualify if you earn less than $165 per month; the less you earn, the more
stamps you can receive. There is minimal hassle involved once you get by the
first hurdle. Show up at your local food stamp office, which can be found by
calling the Welfare Department in our city. Make an appointment to see a
representative for your area. They will tell you to bring all sorts of
receipts, but the only thing you need are a few rent stubs for the most recent
months. An array of various receipt books is a nice supplement to one's prop
room. If the receipts are for a high rent, tell them you rent a room from a
group of people and eat separately. They really only want to prove that you
have cooking facilities. Once you get the stamps, you can pick them up
regularly. Some states even mail them to your pad. You can get up to a hundred
dollars worth of free purchases a month per person in the most liberal
Large amounts of highly nutritional food can be gotten for as
little as three cents per meal from a non-profit organization called
Multi-Purpose Food for Millions Foundation, Inc., 1800 Olympic Ave., Santa
Monica, California. Write and they will send you details.
Talking about food in Amerika means talking about
supermarkets-mammoth neon lighted streets of food packaged to hoodwink the
consumers. Many a Yippie can be found in the aisles, stuffing his pockets with
assorted delicacies. We have been shoplifting from supermarkets on a regular
basis without raising the slightest suspicion, ever since they began.
We are not alone, and the fact that so much stealing goes on and
the supermarkets still bring in huge profits shows exactly how much
overcharging has occurred in the first place. Supermarkets, like other
businesses, refer to shoplifting as "inventory shrinkage." It's as if we
thieves were helping Big Business reduce weight. So let's view our efforts as
methods designed to trim the economy and push forward with a positive
Women should never go shopping without a large handbag. In those
crowded aisles, especially the ones with piles of cases, all sorts of goodies
can be transferred from shopping cart to handbag. A drop bag can be sewn
inside a trench coat, for more efficient thievery. Don't worry about the
mirrors; attendants never look at them. Become a discriminating shopper and
don't stuff any of the cheap shit in your pockets.
Small bottles and jars often have the same size cap as the
larger expensive sizes. If they have the price stamped on the cap, switch
caps, getting the larger size for the cheaper price. You can empty a pound box
of margarine and fill it with sticks of butter. Small narrow items can be
hidden in the middle of rolls of toilet paper. Larger supermarkets sell
records. You can sneak two good LP's into one of those large frozen pizza
boxes. In the produce department, there are bags for fruit and vegetables.
Slip a few steaks or some lamb chops into the bottom of a large brown bag and
pile some potatoes on top. Have a little man in the white coat weigh the bag,
staple it and mark the price. With a black crayon you can mark your own
prices, or bring your own adhesive price tags.
It's best to work shoplifting in the supermarket with a partner
who can act as look-out and shield you from the eyes of nosy employees,
shoppers and other crooks trying to pick up some pointers. Work out a
prearranged set of signals with your partner. Diversions, like knocking over
displays, getting into fist fights with the manager, breaking plate glass
windows and such are effective and even if you don't get anything they're fun.
Haven't you always wanted to knock over those carefully constructed nine-foot
pyramids of garbage?
You can walk into a supermarket, get a few items from the
shelves, and walk around eating food in the aisles. Pick up some cherries and
eat them. Have a spoon in your pocket and open some yogurt. Open a pickle or
olive jar. Get some sliced meat or cheese from the delicatessen counter and
eat it up, making sure to ditch the wrapper. The cart full of items, used as a
decoy, can just be left in an aisle before you leave the store.
Case the joint before pulling a big rip-off. Know the least
crowded hours, learn the best aisles to be busy in, and check out the store's
security system. Once you get into shoplifting in supermarkets, you'll really
dig it. You'll be surprised to learn that the food tastes better.
Large scale thievery can best be carried out with the help of an
employee. Two ways we know of work best. A woman can get a job as a cashier
and ring up a small bill as her brothers and sisters bring home tons of
The method for men involves getting a job loading and unloading
trucks in the receiving department. Some accomplices dressed right can just
pull in and, with your help, load up on a few cases. Infiltrating an employee
into a store is probably the best way to steal. Cashiers, sales clerks,
shippers, and the like are readily available jobs with such high turnover and
low pay that little checking on your background goes on. Also, you can learn
what you have to do in a few days. The rest of the week, you can work out ways
to clean out the store. After a month or so of action you might want to move
on to another store before things get heavy. We know one woman working as a
cashier who swiped over $500 worth of food a week. She had to leave after a
month because her boss thought she was such an efficient cashier that he
insisted on promoting her to a job that didn't have as many fringe benefits
for her and her friends.
Large chain stores like Safeway throw away day-old vegetables,
the outer leaves of lettuce, celery and the like. This stuff is usually found
in crates outside the back of the building. Tell them you're working with
animals at the college labs, or that you raise guinea pigs. They might even
get into saving them for you, but if they don't just show up before the
garbage is collected, (generally early in the morning), and they'll let you
cart away what you want.
Dented cans and fruit can often be gotten free, but certainly at
a reduced rate. They are still as good as the undamaged ones. So be sure to
dent all your cans before you go to the cashier.
Look up catering services and businesses that service factories
and office buildings with ready-made sandwiches. Showing up at these places at
the right times (catering services on late Sunday night and sandwich dealers
at 5:00 PM on weekdays) will produce loads of good food. Legally, they have to
dispose of the food that's left over. They would be more than happy to give it
to you if you spin a good story.
Butchers can be hustled for meat scraps with meat scraps with a
"for my dog" story, and bakeries can be asked for day-old rolls and
Large cities all have a wholesale fruit and vegetable area where
often the workers will give you tons of free food just for the asking. Get a
good story together. Get some church stationery and type a letter introducing
yourself "to whom it may concern," or better still, wear some clerical garb.
Orchards also make good pickings just after the harvest has been
Factories often will give you a case or two of free merchandise
for a "charitable" reason. Make some calls around town and then go pick up the
stuff at the end of the week. A great idea is to get a good list of a few
hundred large corporations around the country by looking up their addresses at
the library. Poor's Register of Companies, Directors and Executives has the
most complete list. Send them all letters complaining about how the last box
of cereal was only half full, or you found a dead fly in the can of peaches.
They often will send you an ample supply of items just to keep you from
complaining to your friends or worse, taking them to court. Often you can get
stuff sent to you by just telling them how good their product is compared to
the trash you see nowadays. You know the type of letter - "Rice Krispies have
had a fantastic effect on my sexual prowess," or "Your frozen asparagus has
given a whole new meaning to my life." In general though, the nasties get the
Slaughterhouses usually have meat they will give away. They are
anxious to give to church children's programs and things like that. In most
states, there is a law that if the slab of meat touches the ground, they have
to throw it away. Drop around meat houses late in the day and trip a few
Fishermen always have hundreds of pounds of fish that have to be
thrown out. You can have as much as you can cart away, generally just for the
asking. Boats come in late in the afternoon and they'll give you some of the
catch, or you can go to the markets early in the morning when the fishing is
These methods of getting food in large quantities can only be
appreciated by those who have tried it. You will be totally baffled by the
unbelievable quantities of food that will be laid on you and with the ease of
Investing in a freezer will allow you to bi-weekly or even
monthly trips to the wholesale markets and you'll get the freshest foods to
boot. Nothing can beat getting it wholesale for free. Or is it free for
wholesale? In any event, "bon appetit."
Forming a food cooperative is one of the best ways to promote
solidarity and get every kind of food you need to survive real cheap. It also
provides a ready-made bridge for developing alliances with blacks, Puerto
Ricans, chicanos and other groups fighting our common oppressor on a community
Call a meeting of about 20 communes, collectives or community
organizations. Set up the ground rules. There should be a hard-core of really
good hustlers that serve as the shopping or hunting party and another group of
people who have their heads together enough to keep records and run the
central distribution center. Two or three in each group should do it. They can
get their food free for the effort. Another method is to rotate the activity
among all members of the conspiracy. The method you choose depends upon your
politics and whether you favor a division of labor or using the food
conspiracy as a training for collective living. Probably a blend of the two is
best, but you'll have to hassle that out for yourself. The next thing to agree
upon is how the operation and all the shit you get will be paid for. This is
dependent on a number of variables, so we'll map out one scheme and you can
modify it to suit your particular situation. Each member of every commune
could be assessed a fee for joining. You want to get together about $2,000, so
at 200 members, this is ten bucks a piece. After the joining fee, each person
or group has to pay only for the low budget food they order, but some loot is
needed to get things rolling. The money goes to getting a store front or
garage, a cheap truck, some scales, freezers, bags, shelving, chopping blocks,
slicer and whatever else you need. You can get great deals by looking in the
classified ads of the local overground newspaper and checking for restaurants
or markets going out of business. Remember the idea of a conspiracy is to get
tons of stuff at real low prices or free into a store front, and then break it
down into smaller units for each group and eventually each member. The
freezers allow you to store perishables for a longer time.
The hunting party should be well acquainted with how to rip off
shit totally free and where all the best deals are to be found. They should
know what food is seasonal and about nutritional diets. There is a lot to
learn, such as where to get raw grains in 100 pounds lots and how to cut up a
side of beef. A good idea is to get a diet freak to give weekly talks in the
store front. There can also be cooking lessons taught, especially to men, so
women can get out of the kitchen.
Organizing a community around a basic issue of survival, such as
food, makes a lot of nitty gritty sense. After your conspiracy gets off the
ground and looks permanent, you should seek to expand it to include more
members and an emergency food fund should be set up in case something happens
in the community. There should also be a fund whereby the conspiracy can
sponsor free community dinners tied into celebrations. Get it together and
join the fight for a world-wide food conspiracy. Seize the steak!
There are hundreds of good paperback cook books with nutritional
cheap recipes available in any bookstore. Cooking is a vastly overrated skill.
The following are a few all-purpose dishes that are easy to make, nutritional
and cheap as mud pies. You can add or subtract many of the ingredients for
Hog Farm Granola Breakfast (Road Hog Crispies)
½ c millet 2 c raw oats
½ c cracked wheat 1 c rye flakes
½ c buckwheat groats 1 c wheat flakes
½ c wheat germ 1 c dried fruits and/or nuts
½ c sunflower seeds 3 tbs soy oil
¼ c sesame seeds 1 c honey
2 tbs cornmeal
Boil the millet in a double boiler for 1/2 hour. Mix in a large
bowl all the ingredients including the millet. The soy oil and honey should be
heated in a saucepan over a low flame until bubbles form. Spread the cereal in
a baking pan and cover with the honey syrup. Toast in oven until brown. Stir
once or twice so that all the cereal will be toasted. Serve plain or with
milk. Refrigerate portion not used in a covered container. Enough for ten to
twenty people. Make lots and store for later meals. All these ingredients can
be purchased at any health store in a variety of quantities. You can also get
natural sugar if you need a sweetener. If bought and made in quantity, this
fantastically healthy breakfast food will be cheaper than the brand name
cellophane that passes for cereal.
Whole Earth Bread
1 c oats, corn meal, or wheat germ 2 tsp salt
1½ c water (warm) 2 egg yolks
¼ c sugar (raw is best) 4 c flour
1 pkg active dry yeast _ c corn oil
1 c dry milk or butter
Stir lightly in a large bowl the oats, cornmeal or wheat germ
(depending on the flavor bread you desire), the water and sugar. Sprinkle in
the yeast and wait 10 minutes for the yeast to do its thing. Add salt, egg
yolks, corn oil and dry milk. Mix with a fork. Blend in the flour. The dough
should be dry and a little lumpy. Cover with a towel and leave in a warm place
for a half hour. Now mash, punch, blend and kick the dough and return it
covered to its warm place. The dough will double in size. When this happens,
separate the dough into two even masses and mash each one into a greased bread
(loaf) pan. Cover the pans and let sit until the dough rises to the top of the
pans. Bake for 40-45 minutes in a 350 degree oven that has not been
pre-heated. A shallow tray of water in the bottom of the oven will keep the
bread nice and moist. When you remove the pans from the oven, turn out the
bread into a rack and let it cool off. Once you get the hang of it, you'll
never touch ready-made bread, and it's a gas seeing yeast work.
Salad can be made by chopping up almost any variety of
vegetables, nuts and fruits including the stuff you panhandled at the back of
supermarkets; dandelions, shav, and other wild vegetables; and goods you
ripped off inside stores or from large farms. A neat fresh dressing consists
of one part of oil, two parts wine vinegar, finely chopped garlic cloves, salt
and pepper. Mix up the ingredients in a bottle and add to the salad as you
serve it. Russian dressing is simply mayonnaise and ketchup mixed.
Yogurt is one of the most nutritional foods in the world. The
stuff you buy in stores has preservatives added to it reducing its health
properties and increasing the cost. Yogurt is a bacteria that spreads
throughout a suitable culture at the correct temperature. Begin by going to a
Turkish or Syrian restaurant and buying some yogurt to go. Some restaurants
boast of yogurt that goes back over a hundred years. Put it in the
Now prepare the culture in which the yogurt will multiply. The
consistency you want will determine what you use. A milk culture will produce
thin yogurt, while sweet cream will make a thicker batch. It's the butter fat
content that determines the consistency and also the number of calories. Half
milk and half cream combines the best of both worlds. Heat a quart of half and
half on a low flame until just before the boiling point and remove from the
stove. This knocks out other bacteria that will compete with the yogurt. Now
take a tablespoon of the yogurt you got from the restaurant and place it in
the bottom of a bowl (not metal). Now add the warm liquid. Cover the bowl with
a lid and wrap tightly with a heavy towel. Place the bowl in a warm spot such
as on top of a radiator or in a sunny window. A turned-off oven with a tray of
boiling water placed in it will do well. Just let the bowl sit for about 8
hours (overnight). The yogurt simply grows until the whole bowl is yogurt.
Yippie! It will keep in the refrigerator for about two weeks before turning
sour, but even then, the bacteria will produce a fresh batch of top quality.
Remember when eating it to leave a little to start the next batch. For a neat
treat add some honey and cinnamon and mix into the yogurt before serving.
Chopped fruit and nuts are also good.
Rice and Cong Sauce
1 c brown rice vegetables
2 c water 2½ tbs soy sauce
Bring the water to a boil in a pot and add the salt and rice.
Cover and reduce flame. Cooking time is about 40 minutes or until rice has
absorbed all the water. Meanwhile, in a well-greased frying pan, saute a
variety of chopped vegetables you enjoy. When they become soft and brownish,
add salt and 2 cups of water. Cover with a lid and lower flame. Simmer for
about 40 minutes, peeking to stir every once in a while. Then add 2 1/2 tbs of
soy sauce, stir and cook another 10 minutes. The rice should be just cooling
off now, so add the sauce to the top of it and serve. Great for those long
guerrilla hikes. This literally makes up almost the entire diet of the
National Liberation Front fighter.
1 lb red kidney beans 2 tbs parsley (chopped)
2 quarts water ½ lb pork, smoked sausage
1 onion (chopped) or ham hock
1 tbs celery (chopped) 1 lg bay leaf
1 tsp garlic (minced) salt to season
Rinse the beans, then place in covered pot and add water and
salt. Cook over low flame. While cooking, chop up meat and brown in a frying
pan. Add onion, celery, garlic and parsley and continue sauteing over low
flame. Add the pieces of meat, vegetables and bay leaf to the beans and cook
covered for 1 1/2 to 2 hours. It may be necessary to add more water if the
beans get too dry. Fifteen minutes before beans are done, mash about a half
cup of the stuff against the side of the pan to thicken the liquid. Pour the
beans and liquid over some steaming rice that you've made by following the
directions above. This should provide a cheap nutritional meal for about 6
2 lobsters 2 qts water
seaweed ¼ lb butter
Steal two lobsters, watching out for the claw thingies. Beg some
seaweed from any fish market. Cop the butter using the switcheroo method
described in the Supermarket section above. When you get home, boil the water
in a large covered pot and drop in the seaweed and then the lobsters. Put the
cover back on and cook for about 20 minutes. Melt the butter in a sauce pan
and dip the lobster pieces in it as you eat. With a booster box, described
later you'll be able to rip off a bottle of vintage Pouilly-Fuisse in a fancy
liquor store. Really, rice is nice but...
FREE CLOTHING & FURNITURE
If shoplifting food seems easy, it's nothing compared to the
snatching of clothing. Shop only the better stores. Try thing on in those neat
secluded stalls. The less bulky items such as shirts, vests, belts and socks
can be tied around your waist or leg with large rubber bands if needed. Just
take a number of items in and come out with a few less.
In some cities there are still free stores left over from the
flower power days. Churches often have give-away clothing programs. You can
impersonate a clergyman and call one of the large clothing manufacturers in
your area. They are usually willing to donate a case or two of shirts,
trousers or underwear to your church raffle or drive to dress up skid row. Be
sure to get your sizes. Tell them "your boy" will pick up the blessed donation
and you'll mention his company in the evening prayers.
If you notice people moving from an apartment or house, ask them
if they'll be leaving behind clothing. They usually abandon all sorts of items
including food, furniture and books. Offer to help them carry out stuff if you
can keep what they won't be taking.
Make the rounds of a fancy neighborhood with a truck and some
friends. Ring doorbells and tell the person who answers that you are
collecting wearable clothing for the "poor homeless victims of the recent
tidal wave in Quianto a small village in Saudi Arabia." You get the pitch.
Make it food and clothing, and say you're with a group called Heartline for
Decency. A phony letter from a church might help here.
The Salvation Army does this, and you can pick up clothes from
them at very cheap prices. You can get a pair of snappy casual shoes for 25
cents in many bowling alleys by walking out with them on your feet. If you
have to leave your shoes as a deposit, leave the most beat-up pair you can
Notice if your friends have lost or gained weight. A big change
means a lot of clothes doing nothing but taking up closet space. Show up at
dormitories when college is over for the summer or winter season. Go to the
train or bus stations and tell them you left your raincoat, gloves or umbrella
when you came into town. They'll take you to a room with thousands of
unclaimed items. Pick out what you like. While there, notice a neat suitcase
or trunk and memorize the markings. Later a friend can claim the item. There
will be loads of surprises in any suitcase. We have a close friend who
inherited ten kilos of grass this way.
Large laundry and dry cleaning chains usually have thousands of
items that have gone unclaimed. Manufacturers also have shirts, dresses and
suits for rockbottom prices because of a crooked seam or other fuck-up. Stores
have reduced rates on display models: Mannequins are mostly all size 40 for
men and 10 for women. Size 7 1/2 is the standard display size for men's shoes.
If you are these sizes, you can get top styles for less than half price.
The Vietnamese and people throughout the Third World make a
fantastically durable and comfortable pair of sandals out of rubber tires.
They cut out a section of the outer tire (trace around the outside of the foot
with a piece of chalk) which when trimmed forms the sole. Next 6 slits re made
in the sole so the rubber straps can be criss-crossed and slid through the
slits. The straps are made out of inner tubing. No nails are needed. If you
have wide feet, use the new wide tread low profiles. For hard going, try
radials. For best satisfaction and quality, steal the tires off a pig car or a
Let's face it, if you really are into beating the clothing
problem, move to a warm climate and run around naked. Skin is absolutely free,
and will always be in style. Speaking of style, the midi and the maxi have
obvious advantages when it comes to shoplifting and transporting weapons or
Apartment lobbies are good for all kinds of neat furniture. If
you want to get fancy about it, rent a truck (not one that says U-HAUL-IT or
other rental markings) and make the pick-up with moving-man-type uniforms.
When schools are on strike and students hold seminars and debate into the
night, Yippies can be found going through the dorm lobbies and storage closets
hauling off couches, desks, printing supplies, typewriters, mimeos, etc. to
store in secret underground nests. A nervy group of Yippies in the Midwest
tried to swipe a giant IBM 360 computer while a school was in turmoil. All
power to those that bring a wheelbarrow to sit-ins.
Check into a high-class hotel or motel remembering to dress like
the wallpaper. Carry a large dummy suitcase with you and register under a
phony name. Make sure you and not the bellboy carry this bag. Use others as a
decoy. When you get inside the room, grab everything you can stuff in the
suitcase: radio, T.V. sets (even if it has a special plug you can cut it with
a knife and replace the cord), blankets, toilet paper, glasses, towels,
sheets, lamps, (forget the imitation Winslow Homer on the wall) a Bible, soap
and toss rugs. Before you leave (odd hours are best) hang the DO NOT DISTURB
sign on your doorknob. This will give you an extra few hours to beat it across
the border or check into a new hotel.
Landlords renovating buildings throw out stoves, tables, lamps,
refrigerators and carpeting. In most cities, each area has a day designated
for discarding bulk objects. Call the Sanitation Department and say you live
in that part of town which would be putting out the most expensive shit and
find out the pick-up day. Fantastic buys can be found cruising the streets
late at night. Check out the backs of large department stores for floor
models, window displays and slightly damaged furniture being discarded.
Construction sites are a good source for building materials to
construct furniture. (Not to mention explosives.) The large wooden cable
spools make great tables. Cinderblocks, bricks and boards can quickly be
turned into a sharp looking bookcase. Doors make tables. Nail kegs convert
into stools or chairs. You can also always find a number of other supplies
hanging around like wiring, pipes, lighting fixtures and hard hats. And don't
forget those blinking signs and the red lanterns for your own light show.
Those black oil-fed burners are O.K. for cooking, although smoky, and highway
flares are swell for making fake dynamite bombs.
Certainly one of the neatest ways of getting where you want to
go for nothing is to hitch. In the city it's a real snap. Just position
yourself at a busy intersection and ask the drivers for a lift when they stop
for the red light. If you're hitching on a road where the traffic zooms by
pretty fast, be sure to stand where the car will have room to safely pull off
the road. Traveling long distances, even cross-country, can be easy if you
have some sense of what you are doing.
A lone hitch-hiker will do much better than two or more. A man
and woman will do very well together. Single women are certain to get
propositioned and possibly worse. Amerikan males have endless sexual fantasies
about picking up a poor lonesome damsel in distress. Unless your karate and
head are in top form, women should avoid hitching alone. Telling men you have
V.D. might help in difficult situations.
New England and the entire West Coast are the best sections for
easy hitches. The South and Midwest can sometimes be a real hassle. Easy Rider
and all that. The best season to hitch is in the summer. Daytime is much
better than night. If you have to hitch at night, get under some type of
illumination where you'll be seen.
Hitch-hiking is legal in most states, but remember you always
can get a "say-so" bust. A "say-so" arrest is to police what Catch-22 is to
the Army. When you ask why you're under arrest, the pig answers, "cause I
say-so." If you stand on the shoulder of the road, the pigs won't give you too
bad a time. If you've got long hair, cops will often stop to play games. You
can wear a hat with your hair tucked under to avoid hassles. However this
might hurt your ability to get rides, since many straights will pick up
hippies out of curiosity who would not pick up a straight scruffy looking kid.
Freak drivers usually only pick up other freaks.
Once in a while you hear stories of fines levied or even a few
arrests for hitching (Flagstaff, Arizona is notorious), but even in the states
where it is illegal, the law is rarely enforced. If you're stopped by the
pigs, play dumb and they'll just tell you to move along. You can wait until
they leave and then let your thumb hang out again.
Hitchin on super highways is really far out. It's illegal but
you won't get hassled if you hitch at the entrances. On a fucked-up exit, take
your chances hitching right on the road, but keep a sharp eye out for porkers.
When you get a ride be discriminating. Find out where the driver is headed. If
you are at a good spot, don't take a ride under a hundred miles that won't end
up in a location just as good. When the driver is headed to an out-of-the-way
place, ask him to let you off where you can get the best rides. If he's going
to a particularly small town, ask him to drive you to the other side of thy
town line. It's usually only a mile or two. Small towns often enforce all
sorts of "say-so" ordinances. If you get stuck on the wrong side of town, it
would be wise to even hoof it through the place. Getting to a point on the
road where the cars are inter-city rather than local traffic is always
When you hit the road you should have a good idea of how to get
where you are going. You can pick up a free map at any gas station. Long
distance routes, road conditions, weather and all sorts of information can be
gotten free by calling the American Automobile Association in any city. Say
that you are a member driving to Phoenix, Arizona or wherever your destination
is, and find out what you want to know. Always carry a sign indicating where
you are going. If you get stranded on the road without one, ask in a diner or
gas station for a piece of cardboard and a magic marker. Make the letters bold
and fill them in so they can be seen by drivers from a distance. If your
destination is a small town, the sign should indicate the state. For really
long distances, EAST or WEST is best. Unless, of course, you're going north or
south. A phony foreign flag sewed on your pack also helps.
Carrying dope is not advisable, and although searching you is
illegal, few pigs can read the Constitution. If you are carrying when the
patrol car pulls up, tell them you are Kanadian and hitching through Amerika.
Highway patrols are very uptight about promoting incidents with foreigners.
The foreign bit goes over especially well with small-town types, and is also
amazingly good for avoiding hassles with greasers. If you can't hack this one,
tell them you are a reporter for a newspaper writing a feature story on
hitching around the country. This story has averted many a bust.
Don't be shy when you hitch. Go into diners and gas stations and
ask people if they're heading East or to Texas. Sometimes gas station
attendants will help. When in the car be friendly as hell. Offer to share the
driving if you've got a license. If you're broke, you can usually bum a meal
or a few bucks, maybe even a free night's lodging. Never be intimidated into
giving money for a ride.
As for what to carry when hitching, the advice is to travel
light. The rule is to make up a pack of the absolute minimum, then cut that in
half. Hitching is an art form as is all survival. Master it and you'll travel
on a free trip forever.
There is a way to hitch long distances that has certain
advantages over letting your thumb hang out for hours on some two-laner. Learn
about riding the trains and you'll always have that alternative. Hitchhiking
at night can be impossible, but hopping a is easier at night than by day. By
hitchhiking days and hopping freights and sleeping on them at night, you can
cover incredible distances rapidly and stay well rested. Every city and most
large towns have a freight yard. You can find it by following the tracks or
asking where the freight yard is located.
When you get to the yard, ask the workmen when the next train
leaving in your direction will be pulling out. Unlike the phony Hollywood
image, railroad men are nice to folks who drop by to grab a ride. Most yards
don't have a guard or a "bull" as they are called. Even if they do, he is
generally not around. If there is a bull around, the most he's going to do is
tell you it's private property and ask you to leave. There are exceptions to
this rule, such as the notorious Lincoln, Nebraska, and Las Vegas, Nevada, but
by asking you can find out. Even if he asks you to leave or throws you out,
sneak back when your train is pulling out and jump aboard.
After you've located the right train for your trip, hunt for an
empty boxcar to ride. The men in the yards will generally point one out if you
ask. Pig-sties, flat cars and coal cars are definitely third class due to
exposure to the elements. Boxcars are by far the best. They are clean and the
roof over your head helps in bad weather and cuts down the wind. Boxcars with
a hydro-cushion suspension system used for carrying fragile cargo make for the
smoothest ride. Unless you get one, you should be prepared for a pretty bumpy
and noisy voyage.
You should avoid cars with only one door open, because the pin
may break, locking you in. A car with both doors open gives you one free
chance. Pig-backs (trailers on flatcars) are generally considered unsafe. Most
trains make a number of short hops, so if time is an important factor try to
get on a "hot shot" express. A hot shot travels faster and has priority over
other trains in crowded yards. You should favor a hot shot even if you have to
wait an extra hour or two or more to get one going your way.
If you're traveling at night, be sure to dress warmly. You can
freeze your ass off. Trains might not offer the most comfortable ride, but
they go through beautiful countryside that you'd never see from the highway or
airway. There are no billboards, road signs, cops, Jack-in-the-Boxes, gas
stations or other artifacts of honky culture. You'll get dirty on the trains
so wear old clothes. Don't pass up this great way to travel cause some
bullshit western scared you out of it.
If you know how to drive and want to travel long distances, the
auto transportation agencies are a good deal. Look in the Yellow Pages under
Automobile Transportation and Trucking or Driveway. Rules vary, but normally
you must be over 21 and have a valid license. Call up and tell them when and
where you want to go and they will let you know if they have a car available.
They give you the car and a tank of gas free. You pay the rest. Go to pick up
the car alone, then get some people to ride along and help with the driving
and expenses. You can make New York to San Francisco for about eighty dollars
in tolls and gas in four days without pushing. Usually you have the car for
longer and can make a whole thing out of it. You must look straight when you
go to the agency. This can be simply be done by wetting down your hair and
shoving it under a cap.
Another good way to travel cheaply is to find somebody who has a
car and is going your way. Usually underground newspapers list people who
either want rides or riders. Another excellent place to find information is
your local campus. Every campus has a bulletin board for rides. Head shops and
other community-minded stores have notices up on the wall.
If you have a car and need some gas late at night you can get a
quart and then some by emptying the hoses from the pumps into your tank. There
is always a fair amount of surplus gas left when the pumps are shut off.
If your traveling in a car and don't have enough money for gas
and tolls, stop at the bus station and see if anybody wants a lift. If you
find someone, explain your money situation and make a deal with him.
Hitch-hikers also can be asked to chip in on the gas.
You can carry a piece of tubing in the trunk of your car and
when the gas indicator gets low, pull up to a nice looking Cadillac on some
dark street and syphon off some of his gas. Just park your car so the gas tank
is next to the Caddy's, or use a large can. Stick the hose into his tank, suck
up enough to get things flowing, and stick the other end into your tank.
Having a lower level of liquid, you tank will draw gas until you and the Caddy
are equal. "To each according to his need, from each according to his
ability," wrote Marx. Bet you hadn't realized until now that the law of
gravity affects economics.
Another way is to park in a service station over their filler
hole. Lift off one lid (like a small manhole cover), run down twenty feet of
rubber tubing thru the hole you've cut in your floorboard, then turn on the
electric pump which you have installed to feed into your gas tank. All they
ever see is a parked car. This technique is especially rewarding when you have
If you'd rather leave the driving and the paying to them, try
swiping a ride on the bus. Here's a method that has worked well. Get a rough
idea of where the bus has stopped before it arrived at your station. If you
are not at the beginning or final stop on the route, wait until the bus you
want pulls in and then out of the station. Make like the bus just pulled off
without you while you went to the bathroom. If there is a station master,
complain like crazy to him. Tell him you're going to sue the company if your
luggage gets stolen. He'll put you on the next bus for free. If there is no
station master, lay your sad tale on the next driver that comes along. If you
know when the last bus left, just tell the driver you've been stranded there
for eight hours and you left your kid sleeping on the other bus. Tell him you
called ahead to the company and they said to grab the next bus and they would
take care of it.
The next method isn't totally free but close enough. It's called
the hopper-bopper. Find a bus that makes a few stops before it gets to where
you want to go. The more stops with people getting in our out the better. Buy
a ticket for the short hop and stay on the bus until you end up at your
destination. You must develop a whole style in order to pull this off because
the driver has to forget you are connected with the ticket you gave him. Dress
unobtrusively or make sure the driver hasn't seen your face. Pretend to be
asleep when the short hop station is reached. If you get questioned, just act
upset about sleeping through the stop you "really" want and ask if it's
possible to get a ride back.
Up and away, junior outlaws! If you really want to get where
you're going in a hurry, don't forget skyjacker's paradise. Don't forget the
airlines. They make an unbelievable amount of bread on their inflated prices,
ruin the land with incredible amounts of polluting wastes and noise, and
deliberately hold back aviation advances that would reduce prices and time of
flight. We know two foolproof methods to fly free, but unfortunately we feel
publishing them would cause the airlines to change their policy. The following
methods have been talked about enough, so the time seems right to make them
known to a larger circle of friends.
A word should be said right off about stolen tickets. Literally
millions of dollars worth of airline tickets are stolen each year. If you have
good underworld contacts, you can get a ticket to anywhere you want at
one-fourth the regular price. If you are charged more, you are getting a
slight rooking. In any case, you can get a ticket for any flight or date and
just trade it in. They are actually as good as cash, except that it takes 30
days to get a refund, and by then they might have traced the stolen tickets.
If you can get a stolen ticket, exchange or use it as soon as possible, and
always fly under a phony name. A stolen ticket for a trip around the world
currently goes for one hundred and fifty dollars in New York.
One successful scheme requires access to the mailbox of a person
listed in the local phone book. Let's use the name Ron Davis as an example. A
woman calls one of the airlines with a very efficient sounding rap such as:
"Hello, this is Mr. Davis' secretary at Allied Chemical. He and his wife would
like to fly to Chicago on Friday. Could you mail two first-class tickets to
his home and bill us here at Allied?" Every major corporation probably has a
Ron Davis, and the airlines rarely bother checking anyway. Order your tickets
two days before you wish to travel, and pick them up at the mailbox or address
you had them sent to. If you are uptight in the airport about the tickets,
just go up to another airline and have the tickets exchanged.
One gutsy way to hitch a free ride is to board the plane without
a ticket. This is how it works. Locate the flight you want and rummage through
a wastebasket until you find an envelope for that particular airline. Shuffle
by the counter men (which is fairly easy if it's busy). When the boarding call
is made, stand in line and get on the plane. Flash the empty envelope at the
stewardess as you board the plane. Carry a number of packages as a decoy, so
the stewardess won t ask you to open the envelope. If she does, which is rare,
and sees you have no ticket, act surprised. "Oh my gosh, it must have fallen
out in the wash room," will do fine. Run back down the ramp as if you're going
to retrieve the ticket. Disappear and try later on a different airline. Nine
out of ten revolutionaries say it's the only way to fly. This trick works only
on airlines that don't use the boarding pass system.
If you want to be covered completely, use the hopper-bopper
method described in the section on Buses, with this added security precaution.
Buy two tickets from different cashiers, or better still, one from an agent in
town. Both will be on the same flight. Only one ticket will be under a phony
name and for the short hop, white the ticket under your real name will be for
your actual destination. At the boarding counter, present the short hop
ticket. You will be given an envelope with a white receipt in it. Actually,
the white receipt is the last leaf in your ticket. Once you are securely
seated and aloft, take out the ticket with your name and final destination.
Gently peel away everything but the white receipt. Place the still valid
ticket back in your pocket. Now remove from the envelope and destroy the short
hop receipt. In its place, put the receipt for the ticket you have in your
When you land at the short hop airport, stay on the plane.
Usually the stewardesses just ask you if you are remaining on the flight. If
you have to, you can actually show her your authentic receipt. When you get to
your destination, you merely put the receipt back on the bonafide ticket that
you still have in your pocket. It isn't necessary that they be glued together.
Present the ticket for a refund or exchange it for another ticket. This method
works well even in foreign countries. You can actually fly around the world
for $88.00 using the hopper-bopper method and switching receipts.
If you can't hack these shucks you should at least get a Youth
Card and travel for half fare. If you are over twenty-two but still in your
twenties, you can easily pass. Get a card from a friend who has similar color
hair and eyes. Your friend can easily get one from another airline. You can
master your friend's signature and get a supporting piece of identification
from him to back up your youth card if you find it necessary. If you have a
friend who works for an airline or travel agency, just get a card under your
own name and an age below the limit. Your friend can validate the card. Flying
youth fare is on stand-by, so it's always a good idea to call ahead and book a
number of reservations under fictitious names on the flight you'll be taking.
This will fuck up the booking of regular passengers and insure you a seat.
By the way, if you fly cross-country a number of times, swipe
one of the plug-in head sets. Always remember to pack it in your traveling
bag. This way you'll save a two dollar fee charged for the in-flight movie.
The headsets are interchangeable on all airlines.
One way to fly free is to actually hitch a ride. Look for the
private plane area located at every airport, usually in some remote part of
the field. You can find it by noticing where the small planes without airline
markings take off and land. Go over to the runways and ask around. Often the
mechanics will let you know when someone is leaving for your destination and
point out a pilot. Tell him you lost your ticket and have to get back to
school. Single pilots often like to have a passenger along and it's a real gas
flying in a small plane.
Some foreign countries have special arrangements for free air
travel to visiting writers, artists or reporters. Brazil and Argentina are two
we know of for sure. Call or write the embassy of the country you wish to
visit in Washington or their mission to the United Nations in New York.
Writing works best, especially if you can cop some stationery from a newspaper
or publishing house. Tell them you will be writing a feature story for some
magazine on the tourist spots or handcrafts of the country. The embassy will
arrange for you to travel gratis aboard one of their air force planes. The
planes leave only from Washington and New York at unscheduled times. Once you
have the O.K. letter from the embassy you're all set. This is definitely worth
checking out if you want to vacation in a foreign country with all sorts of
free bonuses thrown in.
A one-way ride is easy if you want to get into skyjacking. Keep
the piece or knife in your shoe to avoid possible detection with the "metal
scanner," a long black tube that acts like a geiger counter. Or use a plastic
knife or bomb. It's also advisable to wrap your dope in a non-metallic
material. Avoid tinfoil.
The crews have instructions to take you wherever you want to go
even if they have to refuel, but watch out for air marshals. To avoid air
marshals and searches pick an airline which flies short domestic hops. You
should plan to end up in a country hostile to the United States or you'll end
up right back where you came from in some sturdy handcuffs. One dude wanted to
travel in style so he demanded $100,000 as a going-away gift. The airlines
quickly paid off. The guy then got greedy and demanded a hundred million
dollars. When he returned to pick up the extra pocket money, he got nabbed.
None the less, skyjacking appears to be the cheapest, fastest way to get away
from it all.
IN CITY TRAVEL
Any of the public means of transportation can be ripped off
easily. Get on the bus with a large bill and present it after the bus has left
the stop. If the bus is crowded, slip in the back door when it opens to
Two people can easily get through the turnstile in a subway on
one token by doubling up. In some subway systems cards are given out to high
school kids or senior citizens or employees of the city. The next time you are
in a subway station notice people flashing cards to the man in the booth and
entering through the "exit" door. Notice the color of the card used by people
in your age group. Get a piece of colored paper in a stationery store or find
some card of the same color you need. Put this "card" in a plastic window of
your wallet and flash it in the same way those with a bona fide pass do.
Before entering a turnstile, always test the swing bar. If
someone during the day put in an extra token, it's still in the machine
waiting for you to enter free.
For every token and coin deposited in an automatic turnstile,
there is a foreign coin the same size for much less that will work in the
machine. (See the Yippie Currency Exchange, following, for more info.) Buy a
cheap bag of assorted foreign coins from a dealer that you can locate in the
Yellow Pages. Size up the coins with a token from your subway system. You can
get any of these coins in bulk from a large dealer. Generally they are about
l,000 for five dollars. Tell him you make jewelry out of them if he gets
suspicious. Giving what almost amounts to free subway rides away is a communal
act of love. The best outlaws in the world rip-off shit for a lot more people
than just themselves. Robin Hood lives!
Despite what you may have heard, there is still some rural land
left in Amerika. The only really free land is available in Alaska and remote
barren areas of the western states. The latest information in this area is
found in a periodic publication called Our Public Lands, available from the
Superintendent of Documents, Washington, D.C. 20402. It costs $1.00 for a
subscription. Also contact the U.S. Department of the Interior, Bureau of Land
Management, Washington, D.C. 20240 and ask for information on "homesteading."
By the time this book is out though, the Secretary of the Interior's friends
in the oil companies might have stolen all the available free land. Being an
oil company is about the easiest way to steal millions. Never call it stealing
though, always refer to it as "research and development."
Continental United States has no good free land that we know of,
but there are some very low prices in areas suited for country communities.
Write to School of Living, Freeland, Maryland, for their newspaper Green
Revolution with the latest information in this area. Canada has free land
available, and the Canadian government will send you a free list if you write
to the Department of Land and Forests, Parliament Building, Quebec City,
Canada. Also write to the Geographical Branch, Department of Mines and
Technical Surveys, Parliament Building, Quebec City, Canada. Correspondence
can be carried out with the Communications Group, 2630 Point Grey Road,
Vancouver 8, British Columbia, Canada, for advice on establishing a community
in Canada. The islands off the coast of British Columbia, its western region
and the area along the Kootenai River are among the best locations.
If you just want to rip off some land, there are two ways to do
it; openly or secretly. If you are going to do it out front, look around for a
piece of land that's in dispute, which has its sovereignty in question-islands
and deltas between the U.S. and Canada, or between the U.S. and Mexico, or any
number of other borderline lands. You might even consider one of the abandoned
oil-drilling platforms, which are fair game under high seas salvage laws. The
possibilities are endless.
If you intend to do it quietly, you will want a completely
different type of location. Find a rugged area with lots of elbow room and
plenty of places to hide, like the Rocky Mountains, Florida swamps, Death
Valley, or New York City. Put together a tight band of guerrillas and do your
thing. With luck you will last forever.
If you just want to camp out or try some hermit living in the
plushest surroundings available, you'll do best to head for one of the
national parks. Since the parks are federal property, there's very little the
local fuzz can do about you, and the forest rangers are generally the
live-and-let-live types, although there have been increasing reports of
long-hairs being vamped on by Smokey the Pig, as in Yosemite. You can get a
complete list from National Park Service, Department of the Interior,
Washington, D.C. 20240. The following is a list of some good ones:
- ALABAMA-Russell Cave National Monument, Bridgeport 35740
- ARIZONA-Grand Canyon National Park, Box 129, Grand Canyon 86023
- ARKANSAS-Hot Springs National Park, Box 1219, Hot Springs 71901
- CALIFORNIA-Yosemite National Park, Box 577, Yosemite 95389*
- COLORADO-Rocky Mountain National Park, Estes Park, 80517
- FLORIDA-Everglades National Park, Box 279, Homestead 33030
- IDAHO-Boise National Forest, 413 Idaho Street, Boise 83702
- ILLINOIS-Shawnee National Forest,Harrisburg National Bank Building,
- KENTUCKY-Mammoth Cave National Park, Mammoth Cave 42259
- LOUISIANA-Kisatchie National Forest, 2500 Shreveport Hwy., Pineville
- MAINE-Acadia National Park, Box 338, Bar Harbor 04609
- MARYLAND-Assateague Island National Seashore, Rte. 2 Box 111, Berlin
- MASSACHUSETTS-Cape Cod National Seashore, South Wellfleet 02663
- MICHIGAN-Hiawatha National Forest, Post Office Building, Escanaba 49829
- MISSOURI-Mark Twain National Forest, 304 Pershing St., Springfield 65806
- NEVADA-Lake Mead National Recreation Area, 601 Nevada Hwy, Boulder City
- NEW MEXICO-Aztec Ruins National Monument, Route 1, Box 101, Aztec 87410
- NEW YORK-Fire Island National Seashore c/o New York City National Park
Service Group, 28 E. 20th St., New York, NY 10003
- NORTH CAROLINA-Wright Brothers National Memorial Box 457, Manteo 27954
- OKLAHOMA-Platt National Park, Box 201, Sulphur 73086
- OREGON-Crater Lake National Park, Box 7, Crater Lake 97604
- UTAH-Bryce Canyon National Park, Bryce Canyon 84717
- WYOMING-Yellowstone National Park, Yellowstone Park 83020
*This summer Yosemite forest rangers tried to evict a group of
Yippies from their encampment. The Yippies rioted in the valley, spooked the
tourists, burned cars and fought for their right to stay.
Earth People's Park is an endeavor to purchase land and allow
people to come and live for free. They function as a clearing house for people
that want to donate land and those who wish to settle. They own 600 acres in
northern Vermont and are trying to raise money to buy more. Write to Earth
People's Park, P.0. Box 313, 1230 Grant Ave., San Francisco, California
People's Parks are sprouting up all over as people reclaim the
land being ripped off by universities, factories, and corrupt city planning
agencies. The model is the People's Park struggle in Berkeley during the
spring of 1969. The people fought to defend a barren parking lot they had
turned into a community center with grass, swings, free-form sculpture and
gardens. The University of California, with the aid of Ronald Reagan and the
Berkeley storm troopers, fought with guns, clubs and tear gas to regain the
land from the outlaw people. The pigs killed James Rector and won an empty
victory. For now the park is fenced off, tarred over and converted into unused
basketball courts and unused parking lots. Not one person has violated the
oath never to set foot on the site. It stands, cold and empty, two blocks
north of crowded Telegraph Avenue. If the revolution does not survive, all the
land will perish under the steam roller of imperialism. People's Death Valley
will happen in our lifetime.
If you are in a city without a place to stay, ask the first
group of hip-looking folks where you can crash. You might try the office of
the local underground newspaper. In any hip community, the underground
newspaper is generally the source of the best up-to-the-moment information.
But remember that they are very busy, and don't impose on them. Many churches
now have runaway houses. If you are under sixteen and can hack some bullshit
jive about "adjusting," "opening a dialogue," and "things aren't that bad,"
then these are the best deals for free room and board. Check out the ground
rules first, i.e., length of stay allowed, if they inform your parents or
police, facilities and services available. Almost always they can be accepted
at their word, which is something very sacred to missionaries. If they became
known as double-crossers, the programs would be finished.
Some hip communities have crash pads set up, but these rarely
last more than a few months. To give out the addresses we have would be quite
impractical. We have never run across a crash pad that lasted more than a
month or so. If in a cit, try hustling a room at a college dorm. This is
especially good in summer or on week-ends. If you have a sleeping bag, the
parks are always good, as is "tar jungle" or sleeping on the roofs of tall
buildings. Local folks will give you some good advice on what to watch out for
and information on vagrancy laws which might help you avoid getting
For more permanent needs, squatting is not only free, it's a
revolutionary act. If you stay quiet you can stay indefinitely. If you have
community support you may last forever.
In the city or in the country, communes can be a cheap and
enjoyable way of living. Although urban and rural communes face different
physical environments, they share common group problems. The most important
element in communal living is the people, for the commune will only make it if
everyone is fairly compatible. A nucleus of 4 to 7 people is best and it is
necessary that no member feels extremely hostile to any other member when the
commune gets started. The idea that things will work out later is pig swill.
More communes have busted up over incompatibility than any other single
factor. People of similar interests and political philosophies should live
together. One speed freak can wreck almost any group. There are just too many
day-to-day hassles involved living in a commune to not start off compatible in
as many ways as possible. The ideal arrangement is for the people to have
known each other before they move in together.
Once you have made the opening moves, evening meetings will
occasionally be necessary to divide up the responsibilities and work out the
unique problems of a communal family. Basically, there are two areas that have
to be pretty well agreed upon if the commune is to survive. People's attitudes
toward Politics, Sex, Drugs and Decision-making have to be in fairly close
agreement. Then the even most important decisions about raising the rent,
cleaning, cooking and maintenance will have to be made. Ground rules for
inviting non-members should be worked out before the first time it happens, as
this is a common cause for friction. Another increasingly important issue
involves defense. Communes have continually been targets of attack by the more
Neanderthal elements of the surrounding community. In Minneapolis for example,
"headhunts" as they are called are commonplace. You should have full knowledge
of the local gun laws and a collective defense should be worked out.
Physical attacks are just one way of making war on communes and,
hence, our Free Nation. Laws, cops, and courts are there to protect the power
and the property of those that already got the shit. Police harassment, strict
enforcement of health codes and fire regulations and the specially designed
anti-commune laws being passed by town elders, should all be known and
understood by the members of a commune before they even buy or rent property.
On all these matters, you should seek out experienced members of communes
already established in the vicinity you wish to settle. Work out mutual
defense arrangements with nearby families-both legal and extralegal. Remember,
not only do you have the right to self-defense, but it is your duty to our new
Nation to erase the "Easy-Rider-take-any-shit" image which invites attack. Let
them know you are willing to defend your way of living and your chances of
survival will increase.
If you're headed for city living, the first thing you'll have to
do is locate an apartment or loft, an increasingly difficult task. At certain
times of the year, notably June and September, the competition is fierce
because of students leaving or entering school. If you can avoid these two
months, you'll have a better selection. A knowledge of your plans in advance
can aid a great deal in finding an apartment, for the area can be scouted
before you move in. Often, if you know of people leaving a desirable
apartment, you can make arrangements with the landlord, and a deposit will
hold the place. If you let them know you're willing to buy their furniture,
people will be more willing to give you information about when they plan to
move. Watch out for getting screwed on exorbitant furniture swindles by the
previous tenants and excessive demands on the part of the landlords. In most
cities, the landlord is not legally allowed to ask for more than one month's
rent as security. Often the monthly rent itself is regulated by a city agency.
A little checking on the local laws and a visit to the housing agency might
prove well worth it.
Don't go to a rental agency unless you are willing to pay an
extra month's rent as a fee. Wanted ads in newspapers and bulletin boards
located in community centers and supermarkets have some leads. Large
universities have a service for finding good apartments for administrators,
faculty and students, in that order. Call the university, say you have just
been appointed to such-and-such position and you need housing in the area.
They will want to know all your requirements and rent limitations, but often
they have very good deals available, especially if you've appointed yourself
to a high enough position.
Aside from these, the best way is to scout a desired area and
inquire about future apartments. Often landlords or rental agencies have
control over a number of buildings in a given area. You can generally find a
nameplate inside the hall of the building. Calling them directly will let you
know of any apartments available.
When you get an apartment, furnishing will be the next step. You
can double your sleeping space by building bunk beds. Nail two by fours
securely from ceiling to floor, about three feet from the walls, where the
beds are desired. Then build a frame out of two by fours at a convenient
height. Make sure you use nails or screws strong enough to support the weight
of people sleeping or balling. Nail a sheet of 3/4 inch plywood on the frame.
Mattresses and almost all furniture needed for your pal can be gotten free
(see section on Free Furniture). Silverware can be copped at any self-service
If you are considering moving to the country, especially as a
group, you are talking about farms and farmland. There are some farms for
rent, and occasionally a family that has to be away for a year or two will let
you live on their farm if you keep the place in repair. These can be found
advertised in the back of various farming magazines and in the classified
sections of newspapers, especially the Sunday editions. Generally speaking,
however, if you're interested in a farm, you should be considering an outright
First, you have to determine in what part of the country you
want to live in terms of the climate you prefer and how far away from the
major cities you wish to locate. The least populated states, such as Utah,
Idaho, the Dakotas, Montana and the like, have the cheapest prices and the
lowest tax rates. The more populated a state, and in turn, the closer to a
city, the higher the commercial value of the land.
There are hundreds of different types of farms, so the next set
of questions you'll have to raise concerns the type of farm activity you'll
want to engage in. Cattle farms are different than vegetable farms or
orchards. Farms come in sizes: from half an acre to ranches larger than the
state of Connecticut. They will run in price from $30 to $3000 an acre, with
the most expensive being prime farmland in fertile river valleys located close
to an urban area. The further away from the city and the further up a hill,
the cheaper the land gets. It also gets woodier, rockier and steeper, which
means less tillable land.
If you are talking of living in a farm house and maybe having a
small garden and some livestock for your own use, with perhaps a pond on the
property, you are looking for what is called a recreational farm. When you buy
a recreational farm, naturally you are interested in the house, barn, well,
fences, chicken-coop, corrals, woodsheds and other physical structures on the
property. Unless these are in unusually good condition or unique, they do not
enter into the sale price as major factors. It is the land itself that is
bought and sold.
Farmland is measured in acreage; an acre being slightly more
than 43,560 square feet. The total area is measured in 40-acre plots. Thus, if
a farmer or a real estate agent says he has a plot of land down the road, he
means a 40-acre farm. Farms are generally measured this way, with an average
recreational farm being 160 acres in size or an area covering about 1/2 square
mile. A reasonable rate for recreational farmland 100 miles from a major city
with good water and a livable house would be about $50 per acre. For a
160-acre farm, it would be $8,000, which is not an awful lot considering what
you are getting. For an overall view, get the free catalogues and brochures
provided by the United Farm Agency, 612 W. 47th St., Kansas City, Mo.
Now that you have a rough idea of where and what type of farm
you want, you can begin to get more specific. Check out the classified section
in the Sunday newspaper of the largest city near your desired location. Get
the phone book and call or write to real estate agencies in the vicinity.
Unlike the city, where there is a sellers' market, rural estate agents collect
their fee from the seller of the property, so you won't have to worry about
the agent's fee.
When you have narrowed down the choices, the next thing you'll
want to look at is the plot book for the county. The plot book has all the
farms in each township mapped out. lt also shows terrain variations, type of
housing on the land, location of rivers, roads and a host of other pertinent
information. Road accessibility, especially in the winter, is an important
factor. If the farms bordering the one you have selected are abandoned or not
in full use, then for all intents and purposes, you have more land than you
After doing all this, you are prepared to go look at the farm
itself. Notice the condition of the auxiliary roads leading to the house.
You'll want an idea of what sections of the land are tillable. Make note of
how many boulders you'll have to clear to do some planting. Also note how many
trees there are and to what extent the brush has to be cut down. Be sure and
have a good idea of the insect problems you can expect. Mosquitoes or flies
can bug the shit out of you. Feel the soil where you plan to have a garden and
see how rich it is. If there are fruit trees, check their condition. Taste the
water. Find out if hunters or tourists come through the land. Examine the
house. The most important things are the basement and the roof. In the
basement examine the beams for dry rot and termites. See how long it will be
before the roof must be replaced. Next check the heating system, the
electrical wiring and the plumbing. Then you'll want to know about services
such as schools, snow plowing, telephones, fire department and finally about
your neighbors. If the house is beyond repair, you might still want the farm,
especially if you are good at carpentry. Cabins, A-Frames, domes and tepees
are all cheaply constructed with little experience. Get the materials from
your nearest military installation.
Finally, check out the secondary structures on the land to see
how usable they are. If there is a pond, you'll want to see how deep it is for
swimming. If there are streams, you'll want to know about the fishing
possibilities; and if large wooded areas, the hunting.
In negotiating the final sales agreement, you should employ a
lawyer. You'll also want to check out the possibility of negotiating a bank
loan for the farm. Don't forget that you have to pay taxes on the land, so
inquire from the previous owner or agent as to the tax bill. Usually, you can
count on paying about $50 annually per 40-acre plot.
Finally, check out the federal programs available in the area.
If you can learn the ins and outs of the government programs, you can rip off
plenty. The Feed-Grain Program of the Department of Agriculture pays you not
to grow grain. The Cotton Subsidy Program pays you not to grow cotton. Also
look into the Soil Bank Program of the United States Development Association
and various Department of Forestry programs which pay you to plant trees.
Between not planting cotton and planting trees, you should be able to
LIST OF COMMUNES
The most complete list of city and country communes is available
for $1.00 from Alternatives Foundation, Modern Utopian, 1526 Gravensteur
Highway North, Sebastopol, California 95427. The phone is (707) 823-6168. The
list is kept up to date. For all communes, you must write in advance if you
plan to visit. Almost every commune will give you information about the local
conditions and the problems they face if you write them a letter. Here is a
list of some you might like to write to for more information. Avoid becoming a
free-loader on your sisters and brothers.
- ALTERNATIVES FOUNDATION-Box 1264, Berkeley, California 94709. (Dick
Fairfield) Communal living, total sexuality, peak experience training
centers. Dedicated to the cybernated-tribal society.
- BHODAN CENTER OF INQUIRY-Sierra Route, Oakhurst, California 93644.
Phone (209) 683-4976.. (Charles Davis) Seminars on Human Community, IC
development on the land, founded 1934, 13 members. Trial period for new
members. Visitors check in advance.
- DROP CITY-Rt. 1, Box 125, Trinidad, Colorado 81082. Founded 1965. New
members must meet specific criteria. Anarchist, artist, dome houses.
- New Mexico
- LAMA FOUNDATION-Box 444, San Cristobal, N.M.
- New York
- CITY ISLAND COMMUNE-284 City Island Avenue, Bronx, NY. Visitors check
in advance. Revolutionary.
- ATLANTIS I-RFD 5, Box 22A, Saugerties, NY 12477. Visitors and new
- FAMILY OF MYSTIC ARTS--Box 546, Sunny Valley, Oregon
- TANGUY HOMESTEADS-West Chester, Pennsylvania. Suburban, non-sectarian,
co-op housing and community fellowship.
- MAGIC MOUNTAIN-52nd and 19th Streets, Seattle, Washington. (c/o Miriam
Usually when you ask somebody in college why they are there,
they'll tell you it's to get an education. The truth of it is, they are there
to get the degree so that they can get ahead in the rat race. Too many college
radicals are two-timing punks. The only reason you should be in college is to
destroy it. If there is stuff that you want to learn though, there is a way to
get a college education absolutely free. Simply send away for the schedule of
courses at the college of your choice. Make up the schedule you want and audit
the classes. In smaller classes this might be a problem, but even then, if,
the teacher is worth anything at all, he'll let you stay. In large classes, no
one will ever object.
If you need books for a course, write to the publisher claiming
you are a lecturer at some school and considering using their book in your
course. They will always send you free books.
There are Free Universities springing up all over our new
Nation. Anybody can teach any course. People sign up for the courses and
sometimes pay a token registration fee. This money is used to publish a
catalogue and pay the rent. If you're on welfare you don't have to pay. You
can take as many or as few courses as you want. Classes are held everywhere:
in the instructor's house, in the park, on the beach, at one of the student's
houses or in liberated buildings. Free Universities offer courses ranging from
Astrology to the Use of Firearms. The teaching is usually of excellent quality
and you'll learn in a community-type atmosphere.
LIST OF FREE UNIVERSITIES
- Alternative University-69 W. 14th St., New York, NY 10011 (catalogue on
- Baltimore Free U-c/o Harry, 233 E. 25th St., Baltimore, Maryland 21218
- Berkeley Free U-1703 Grove St., Berkeley, California 94709
- Bowling Green Free U-c/o Student Council, University of Bowling Green,
Bowling Green Ohio 43402
- Colorado State Free U-Box 12-Fraisen, Colorado State College, Greeley,
- Detroit Area Free U-Student Union, 4001 W. McNichols Rd., Detroit,
- Detroit Area Free U-343 University Center, Wayne State University,
- Georgetown Free U-Loyola Bldg., 28, Georgetown University Washington
- Golden Gate Free U-2120 Market St., Rm. 206, San Francisco, California
- Heliotrope-2201 Filbert, San Francisco, California 94118
- Illinois Free U-298A Illini Union, University of Illinois, Champaign,
- Kansas Free U-107 W. 7th St., Lawrence, Kansas 66044
- Knox College Free U-Galesbury, Illinois 60401
- Madison Free U-c/o P. Carroll, 1205 Shorewood Blvd., Madison, Wisconsin
- Metropolitan State Free U-Associated Students, 1345 Banrock St., Denver,
- Michigan State Free U-Associated Students, Student Service Bldg.,
Michigan State College, East Lansing, Michigan 48823
- Mid-Peninsula Free U-1060 El Camino Real, Menlo Park, California 94015
- Minnesota Free U-1817 S. 3rd St., Minneapolis, Minnesota 55404
- Monterey Peninsula Free U-2120 Etna Place, Monterey, California New Free
U-Box ALL 303, Santa Barbara, California 93107
- Northwest Free U-Box 1255, Bellingham, Washington 98225
- Ohio-Wesleyan Free U-Box 47-Welsh Hall, Ohio Wesleyan University,
Delevan, Ohio 43015
- Pittsburgh Free U-4401 Fifth Ave., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15213
Rutgers Free U-Rutgers College, Student Center, 1 Lincoln Ave., Newark, NJ
- St. Louis Free U-c/o Student Congress, 3rd floor BMC, St. Louis
University, St. Louis, Missouri 63103
- San Luis Obispo Free U-Box 1305, San Luis Obispo, California 94301
- Santa Cruz Free U-604 River St., Santa Cruz, California 95060
- Seattle Free U-4144½ University Way NE, Seattle, Washington 98105
- Southern Illinois Free U-Carbondale, Illinois 62901
- Valley Free U-2045 N. Wishon Ave., Fresno, California 93704
- Washington Area Free U-5519 Prospect Place, Chevy Chase, Maryland 20015
and 1854 Park Rd. NW, Washington, D.C. 20010
- Wayne-Locke Free U-Student Congress, University of Texas, Arlington,
And a complete list of experimental schools, free universities,
free schools, can be obtained by sending one dollar to ALTERNATIVES! 1526
Gravenstein Highway N., Sebastopol, California 97452, and requesting the
Directory of Free Schools.
7. FREE MEDICAL CARE
Due to the efforts of the Medical Committee for Human Rights,
the Student Health Organization and other progressive elements among younger
doctors and nurses. Free People's Clinics have been happening in every major
city. They usually operate out of store fronts and are staffed with volunteer
help. An average clinic can handle fifty patients a day.
If you've had an accident or have an acute illness, even a bad
cold, check into the emergency room of any hospital. Given them a sob story
complete with phony name and address. After treatment they present you with a
slip and direct you to the cashier. Just walk on by, as the song suggests. A
good decoy is to ask for the washroom. After waiting there a few moments,
split. If you're caught sneaking out, tell them you ran out of the house
without your wallet. Ask them to bill you at your phony address. This billing
procedure works in both hospital emergency rooms and clinics. You can keep
going back for repeated visits up to three months before the cashier's office
tells the doctor about your fractured payments.
You can get speedy medical advice and avoid emergency room
delays by calling the hospital, asking for the emergency unit and speaking
directly to the doctor over the phone. Older doctors frown on this procedure
since they cannot extort their usual exorbitant fee over the phone. Younger
ones generally do not share this hang-up.
Cities usually have free clinics for a variety of special
ailments. Tuberculosis Clinics, Venereal Disease Clinics, and Free Shot
Clinics (yellow fever, polio, tetanus, etc.) are some of the more common. A
directory of these clinics and other free health services the local community
provides can be obtained by writing your Chamber of Commerce or local Health
Most universities have clinics connected with their dental,
optometry or other specialized medical schools. If not for free, then
certainly for very low rates, you can get dental work repaired, eyeglasses
fitted and treatment of other specific health needs.
Free psychiatric treatment can often be gotten at the
out-patient department of any mental hospital. Admission into these hospitals
is free, but a real bummer. Use them as a last resort only. Some cities have a
suicide prevention center and if you are desperate and need help, call them.
Your best choice in a psychiatric emergency is to go to a large general
hospital, find the emergency unit and ask to see the psychiatrist on
BIRTH CONTROL CLINICS
Planned Parenthood and the Family Planning Association staff
numerous free birth control clinics throughout the country. They provide such
services as sex education, examinations, Pap smear and birth control
information and devices. The devices include pills, a diaphragm, or IUD
(intra-uterine device) which they will insert. If you are unmarried and under
18, you might have to talk to a social worker, but it's no sweat because
anybody gets contraceptive devices that wants them. Call up and ask them to
send you their booklets on the different methods of birth control
If you would rather go to a private doctor, try to find out from
a friend the name of a hip gynecologist, who is sympathetic to the fact that
you're low on bread. Otherwise one visit could cost $25.00 or more.
Before deciding on a contraceptive, you should be hip to some
general information. There has been much research on the pill, and during the
past 10 years it has proven its effectiveness, if not is safety. The two most
famous name brands are Ortho-Novum and Envoid. They all require a doctor's
prescription. Different type pills are accompanied by slightly different
instructions, so read the directions carefully. In many women, the pills
produce side effects such as weight increase, dizziness or nausea. Sometimes
the pill affects your vision and more often your mood. Some women with
specialized blood diseases are advised not to use them, but in general, women
have little or no trouble. Different brand names have different hormonal
balances (progesterone-estrogen). If you get uncomfortable side effects,
insist that your doctor switch your brand. If you stop the pill method for any
reason and don't want to get pregnant, be very careful to use another means
Another contraceptive device becoming more popular is the IUD,
or the loop. It is a small plastic or stainless steel irregularly-shaped
spring that the doctor inserts inside the opening of the uterus. The insertion
is not without pain, but it's safe if done by a physician, and it's second
only to the pill in prevention of pregnancy. Once it's in place, you can
forget about it for a few years or until you wish to get pregnant. Doctors are
reluctant to prescribe them for women who have not borne children or had an
abortion, because of the intense pain that accompanies insertion. But if you
can stand the pain associated with three to four uterine contractions, you
should push the doctor for this method. Inserting it during the last day of
your period will make it easier.
The diaphragm is a round piece of flexible rubber about 2 inches
in diameter with a hard rubber rim on the outside. It used to be inserted just
before the sex act, but hip doctors now recommend that it be worn continuously
and taken out every few days for washing and also during the menstrual period.
It is most effective when used with a sperm-killing jelly or cream. A doctor
will fit you for a proper size diaphragm.
The next best method is the foams that you insert twenty minutes
before fucking. The best foams available are Delfen and Emko. They have the
advantage of being nonprescription items so you can rush into any drug store
and pick up a dispenser when the spirit moves you. Follow the directions
carefully. Unfortunately, these foams taste terrible and are not available in
flavors. It just shows you how far science has to go.
Another device is the prophylactic, or rubber as it is called.
This is the only device available to men. It is a thin rubber sheath that fits
over the penis. Because they are subject to breaking and sliding off, their
effectiveness is not super great. If you are forced to use them, the best
available are lubricated sheepskins with a reservoir tip.
The rhythm method or Vatican roulette as it is called by hip
Catholics, is a waste unless you are ready to surround yourself with
thermometers, graphs and charts. You also have to limit your fucking to
prescribed days. Even with all these precautions, women have often gotten
pregnant using the rhythm method.
The oldest and least effective method is simply for the male to
pull out just before he comes. There are billions of sperm cells in each
ejaculation and only one is needed to fertilize the woman's egg and cause a
pregnancy. Most of the sperm is in the first squirt, so you had better be
quick if you employ this technique.
If the woman misses her period she shouldn't panic. It might be
delayed because of emotional reasons. Just wait two weeks before going to a
doctor or clinic for a pregnancy test. When you go, be sure to bring your
first morning urine specimen.
The best way to find out about abortions is to contact your
local woman's liberation organization through your underground newspaper or
radio station. Some Family Planning Clinics and even some liberal churches set
up abortions, but these might run as high as $700. Underground newspapers
often have ads that read "Any girl in trouble call - -," or something similar.
The usual rate for an abortion is about $500 and it's awful hard to bargain
when you need one badly. Only go to a physician who is practicing or might
have just lost his license. Forget the stereotype image of these doctors as
they are performing a vital service. Friends who have had an abortion can
usually recommend a good doctor and fill you in on what's going to happen.
Abortions are very minor operations if done correctly. They can
be done almost any time, but after three months, it's no longer so casual and
more surgical skill is required. Start making plans as soon as you find out.
The sooner the better, in terms of the operation.
Get a pregnancy test at a clinic. If it is positive and you want
an abortion, start that day to make plans. If you get negative results from
the test and still miss your period, have a gynecologist perform an
examination if you are still worried.
If you cannot arrange an abortion through woman's liberation,
Family Planning, a sympathetic clergyman or a friend who has had one, search
out a liberal hospital and talk to one of their social workers. Almost all
hospitals perform "therapeutic" abortions. Tell a sob story about the
desertion of your boy friend or that you take LSD every day or that defects
run in your family. Act mentally disturbed. If you qualify, you can get an
abortion that will be free under Medicaid or other welfare medical plans. The
safest form of abortion is the vacuum-curettage method, but not all doctors
are hip to it. It is safer and quicker with less chance of complications than
the old-fashioned scrape method.
Many states have recently passed liberalized abortion laws, such
as New York* (by far the most extensive), Hawaii and Maryland, due to the
continuing pressure of radical women. The battle for abortion and certainly
for free abortion is far from over even in the states with liberal laws. They
are far too expensive for the ten to twenty minute minor operation involved
and the red tape is horrendous. Free abortions must be look-on as a
fundamental right, not a sneaky, messy trauma.
*There is a residence requirement for New York but using a
friend's New York address at the hospital will be good enough. The procedure
takes only a few days and costs between $200 and $500, depending on the place.
The best advice is to call one of the New York Abortion Referral Services or
Birth Control Groups listed in the New York Directory section.
DISEASES TREATED FREE
Syph and Clap (syphilis and gonorrhea) are two diseases that
they are easy to pick up. They come from balling. Anyone who claims they got
it from sitting on a toilet seat must have a fondness for weird positions.
Both men and women are subject to the diseases. Using a
prophylactic usually will prevent the spreading of venereal disease, but you
should really seek to have it cured. Syphilis usually begins with an infection
which may look like a cold sore or pimple around the sex organ. There is no
pain associated with the lesions. Soon the sore disappears even without
treatment. This is often followed by a period of rashes on the body
(especially the palms of the hands) and inflammation of the mouth and throat.
These symptoms also disappear without treatment. It must be understood,
however, that even if these symptoms disappear, the disease still remains if
left untreated. It can cause serious trouble such as heart disease, blindness,
insanity and paralysis. Also, it can fuck up any kids you might produce and is
easily passed on to anyone you ball.
Gonorrhea (clap) is more common than syphilis. Its first signs
are a discharge from your sex organ that is painful. Like syphilis, it affects
both men and women, but is often unnoticed in women. There is usually itching
and burning associated with the affected area. It can leave you sterile if
Both these venereal diseases can be treated in a short time with
attention. Avail yourself of the free V.D. clinics in every town. Follow the
doctor's instructions to the letter and try to let the other people you've had
sexual contact with know you had VD.
There are other fungus diseases that resemble syphilis or
gonorrhea, but are relatively harmless. Check out every infection in your
crotch area, especially those with open sores or an unusual discharge and
you'll be safe.
Crabs are not harmful, but they can make you scratch your crotch
for hours on end. They are also highly transmittable by balling. Actually they
are a form of body lice and easy to cure. Go to your local druggist and ask
him for the best remedy available. He'll give you one of several lotions and
instructions for proper use. We recommend Kwell.
A common disease in the hip community is hepatitis. There are
two kinds. One you get from sticking dirty needles in your arm (serum
hepatitis) and the other more common strain from eating infected food or
having intimate contact with an infected carrier (infectious hepatitis). The
symptoms for both are identical; yellowish skin and eyes, dark piss and light
crap, loss of appetite and total listlessness. Hep is a very dangerous disease
that can cause a number of permanent conditions, including death, which is
extremely permanent. It should be treated by a doctor, often in a
If you don't like the news, why not go out and make your own?
Creating free media depends to a large extent on your imagination and ability
to follow through on ideas. The average Amerikan is exposed to over 1,600
commercials each day. Billboards, glossy ads and television spots make up much
of the word environment they live in. To crack through the word mush means
creating new forms of free communication. Advertisements for revolution are
important in helping to educate and mold the milieu of people you wish to win
Guerrilla theater events are always good news items and if done
right, people will remember them forever. Throwing out money at the Stock
Exchange or dumping soot on executives at Con Edison or blowing up the
policeman statue in Chicago immediately conveys an easily understood message
by using the technique of creative disruption. Recently to dramatize the
illegal invasion of Cambodia, 400 Yippies stormed across the Canadian border
in an invasion of the United States. They threw paint on store windows and
physically attacked residents of Blair, Washington. A group of Vietnam
veterans marched in battle gear from Trenton to Valley Forge. Along the way
they performed mock attacks on civilians the way they were trained to do in
Dying all the outdoor fountains red and then sending a message
to the newspaper explaining why you did it, dramatizes the idea that blood is
being shed needlessly in imperialist wars. A special metallic bonding glue
available from Eastman-Kodak will form a permanent bond in only 45 seconds.
Gluing up locks of all the office buildings in your town is a great way to
dramatize the fact that our brothers and sisters are being jailed all the
time. Then, of course, there are always explosives which dramatically make
your point and then some.
Another way of using the news to advertise the revolution and
make propaganda is to call a press, conference. Get an appropriate place that
has some relationship to the content of your message. Send out announcements
to as many members of the press as you can. If you do not have a press list,
you can make one up by looking through the Yellow Pages under Newspapers,
Radio Stations, Television Stations, Magazines and Wire Services. Check out
your list with other groups and pick up names of reporters who attend movement
press conferences. Address a special invitation to them as well as one to
their newspaper. Address the announcements to "City Desk" or "'News
Department." Schedule the press conference for about 11:00 A.M. as this allows
the reporters to file the story in time for the evening newscast or papers. On
the day of the scheduled conference, call the important city desks or
reporters about 9:00 A.M. and remind them to come.
Everything about a successful press conference must be dramatic,
from the announcements and phone calls to the statements themselves. Nothing
creates a worse image than four or five men in business suits sitting behind a
table and talking in a calm manner at a fashionable hotel. Constantly seek to
have every detail of the press conference differ in style as well as content
from the conferences of people in power. Make use of music and visual effects.
Don't stiffen up before the press. Make the statement as short and to the
point as possible. Don't read from notes, look directly into the camera. The
usual television spot is one minute and twenty seconds. The cameras start
buzzing on your opening statement and often run out of film before you finish.
So make it brief and action packed. The question period should be even more
dramatic. Use the questioner's first name when answering a question. This adds
an air of informality and networks are more apt to use an answer directed
personally to one of their newsmen. Express your emotional feelings. Be funny,
get angry, be sad or ecstatic. If you cannot convey that you are deeply
excited or troubled or outraged about what you are saying, how do you expect
it of others who are watching a little image box in their living room?
Remember, you are advertising a new way of life to people. Watch TV
commercials. See how they are able to convey everything they need to be
effective in such a short time and limited space. At the same tune you're
mocking the shit they are pushing, steal their techniques.
At rock concerts, during intermission or at the end of the
performance, fight your way to the stage.
Announce that if the electricity is cut off the walls will be
torn down. This galvanizes the audience and makes the owners of the hall the
villains if they fuck around. Lay out a short exciting rap on what's coming
down. Focus on a call around one action. Sometimes it might be good to engage
rock groups in dialogues about their commitment to the revolution.
Interrupting the concert is frowned upon since it is only spitting in the
faces of the people you are trying to reach. Use the Culture as ocean to swim
in. Treat it with care.
Sandwich boards and hand-carried signs are effective
advertisements. You can stand on a busy corner and hold up a sign saying
"Apartment Needed," "Free Angela," "Smash the State" or other slogans. They
can be written on dollar bills, envelopes that are being mailed and other
items that are passed from person to person.
Take a flashlight with a large face to movie theaters and other
dark public gathering places. Cut the word "STRIKE" or "REVOLT" or "YIPPIE"
out of dark cellophane. Paste the stencil over the flashlight, thus allowing
you to project the word on a distant wall.
There are a number of all night call-in shows that have a huge
audience. If you call with what the moderator considers "exciting
controversy," he may give you a special number so you won't have to compete in
the switchboard roller-derby. It often can take hours before you get through
to these shows. Here's a trick that will help you out if the switchboard is
jammed. The call-in shows have a series of hones so that when one is busy the
next will take the call. Usually the numbers run in sequence. Say a station
gives out PL 5-8640, as the number to call. That means it also uses PL 5-8641,
PL 5-8642 and so on. If you get a busy signal, hang up and try calling PL
S-8647 say. This trick works in a variety of situations where you want to get
a call through a busy switchboard. Remember it for airline and bus
One of the best forms of free communication is painting messages
on a blank wall. The message must be short and bold. You want to be able to
paint it on before the pigs come and yet have it large enough so that people
can see it at a distance. Cans of spray paint that you can pick up at any
hardware store work best. Pick spots that have lot of traffic. Exclamation
points are good for emphasis. If you are writing the same message, make a
stencil. You can make a stencil that says WAR and spray it on with white paint
under the word "STOP" on stop signs. You can stencil a five-pointed star and
using yellow paint, spray it on the dividing line between the red and blue on
all post office boxes. This simulates the flag of the National Liberation
Front of Vietnam. You can stencil a marijuana leaf and using green paint,
spray it over cigarette and whisky billboards on buses and subways. The
women's liberation sign with red paint is good for sexist ads. Sometimes you
will wish to exhibit great daring in your choice of locations. When the
Vietnamese hero Nguyen Van Troi was executed, the Viet Cong put up a poster
the next day on the exact spot inside the highest security prison in the
Wall postering allows you to get more information before the
public than a quickly scribbled slogan. Make sure the surface is smooth or
finely porous. Smear the back of the poster with condensed milk, spread on
with a brush, sponge, rag or your hands. Condensed milk dries very fast and
hard. Also smear some on the front once the poster is up to give protection
against the weather and busy fingers that like to pull at corners. Wallpaper
pastes also work quickly and efficiently. It's best to work both painting and
postering at night with a look-out. This way you can work the best spots
without being harassed by the pig patrol, which is usually unappreciative of
USE OF THE FLAG
The generally agreed upon flag of our nation is black with a
red, five pointed star behind a green marijuana leaf in the center. It is used
by groups that understand the correct use of culture and symbolism in a
revolutionary struggle. When displayed, it immediately increases the feelings
of solidarity between our brothers and sisters. High school kids have had
great fights over which flag to salute in school. A sign of any liberated zone
is the flag being flown. Rock concerts and festivals have their generally
apolitical character instantly changed when the flag is displayed. The
political theoreticians who do not recognize the flag and the importance of
the culture it represents are ostriches who are ignorant of basic human
nature. Throughout history people have fought for religion, life-style, land,
a flag (nation), because they were ordered to, for fortune, because they were
attacked or for the hell of it. If you don't think the flag is important, ask
Want to construct your own neighborhood radio station? You can
get a carrier-current transmitter designed by a group of brothers and sisters
called Radio Free People. No FCC license is required for the range is less
than 1/2 mile. The small transistorized units plug into any wall outlet. Write
Radio Free People, 133 Mercer St., New York, New York 10012 for more details.
For further information see the chapter on Guerrilla Broadcasting later in the
Ripping off the phone company is so common that Bell Telephone
has a special security division that tries to stay just a little ahead of the
average free-loader. Many great devices like the coat hanger release switch
have been scrapped because of changes in the phone box. Even the credit card
fake-out is doomed to oblivion as the company switches to more computerized
techniques. ln our opinion, as long as there is a phone company, and as long
as there are outlaws, nobody need ever pay for a call. In 1969 alone the phone
company estimated that over 10 million dollars worth of free calls were placed
from New York City. Nothing, however, compares with the rip-off of the people
by the phone company. In that same year, American Telephone and Telegraph made
a profit of 8.6 billion dollars! AT&T, like all public utilities, passes
itself off as a service owned by the people, while in actuality nothing could
be further from the truth. Only a small percentage of the public owns stock in
these companies and a tiny elite clique makes all the policy decisions.
Ripping-off the phone company is an act of revolutionary love, so help spread
You can make a local 10 cent call for 2 cents by spitting on the
pennies and dropping them in the nickel slot. As soon as they are about to hit
the trigger mechanism, bang the coin-return button. Another way is to spin the
pennies counter-clockwise into the nickel slot. Hold the penny in the slot
with your finger and snap it spinning with a key or other flat object. Both
systems take a certain knack, but once you've perfected the technique, you'll
always have it in your survival kit.
If two cents is too much, how about a call for 1 penny? Cut a
1/4 strip off the telephone book cover. Insert the cardboard strip into the
dime slot as far as it will go. Drop a penny in the nickel slot until it
catches in the mechanism (spinning will help). Then slowly pull the strip out
until you hear the dial tone.
A number 14 brass washer with a small piece of scotch tape over
one side of the hole will not only get a free call, but works in about any
vending machine that takes dimes. You can get a box of thousands for about a
dollar at any hardware store. You should always have a box around for phones,
laundromats, parking meters and drink machines.
Bend a bobby pin after removing the plastic from the tips and
jab it down into the transmitter (mouthpiece). When it presses against the
metal diaphragm, rub it on a metal wall or pipe to ground it. When you've made
contact you'll hear the dial tone. If the phone uses old-fashioned rubber
black tubing to enclose the wires running from the headset to the box, you can
insert a metal tack through the tubing, wiggle it around a little until it
makes contact with the bare wires and touch the tack to a nearby metal object
Put a dime in the phone, dial the operator and tell her you have
ten cents credit. She'll return your dime and get your call for free. If she
asks why, say you made a call on another pay phone, lost the money, and the
operator told you to switch phones and call the credit operator.
This same method works for long distance calls. Call the
operator and find out the rate for your call. Hang up and call another
operator telling her you just dialed San Francisco direct, got a wrong number
and lost $.95 or whatever it is. She will get your call free of charge.
If there are two pay phones next to each other, you can call
long distance on one and put the coins in the other. When the operator cuts in
and asks you to deposit money, drop the coins into the one you are not using,
but hold the receiver up to the slots so the operator can hear the bells ring.
When you've finished, you can simply press the return button on the phone with
the coins in it and out they come. If you have a good tape recorder you can
record the sounds of a quarter, dime and nickel going into a pay phone and
play them for the operator in various combinations when she asks for the
money. Turn the volume up as loud as you can get it.
You can make a long distance call and charge it to a phone
number. Simply tell the operator you want to bill the call to your home phone
because you don't have the correct change. Tell her there is no one there now
to verify the call, but you will be home in an hour and she can call you then
if there is any question. Make sure the exchange goes with the area you say it
Always have a number of made-up credit card numbers. The code
letter for 1970 is S, then seven digits of the phone number and a three digit
district number (not the same as area code). The district number should be
under 599. Example: S-573-2100-421 or S-537-3402-035. Look up the phone
numbers for your area by simply requesting a credit card for your home phone
which is very easy to get and then using the last three numbers with another
phone number. Usually making up exotic numbers from far away places will work
quite well as it would be impossible for an operator to spot a phony number in
the short time she has to check her list.
We advise against making phony credit card calls on a home
phone. We have seen a gadget that you install between the wall socket and the
cord which not only allows you to receive all the calls you want for free, but
eliminates the most common form of electronic bugging. They are being
manufactured and sold for fifty dollars by a disgruntled telephone engineer in
Massachusetts. Unfortunately you are going to have to find him on your own or
duplicate his efforts, for he has sworn us to secrecy. If someone does,
however, offer you such a device, it probably does work. Test it by installing
it and having someone call you from a pay phone. If it's working, the person
should get their dime back at the end of the call.
Actually if you know the slightest information about wiring, you
can have your present phone disconnected on the excuse that you'll be leaving
town for a few months and then connect the wires into the main trunk lines on
your own. Extensions can easily be attached to your main line without the
phone company knowing about it.
You can make all the free long distance calls you want by
calling your party collect at a pay phone. Just have your friend go to a
prearranged phone booth at a prearranged time. This can be done on the spot by
having the friend call you person to person. Say you're not in, but ask for
the number calling you since you'll be "back" in five minutes. Once you get
the number simply hang up, wait a moment and call back your friend collect.
The call has to be out of the state to work, since operators are familiar with
the special extension numbers assigned to pay phones for her area and possibly
for nearby areas as well. If she asks you if it is a pay phone say no. If she
finds out during the call (which rarely happens) and informs you of this,
simply say you didn't expect the party to have a pay phone in his house and
accept the charges. We have never heard of this happening though. The trick of
calling person-to-person collect should always be used when calling long
distance on home-to-home phones also. You can hear the voice of your friend
saying that he'll be back in a few minutes. Simply hang up, wait a moment and
call station to station, thereby getting a person-to-person call without the
extra charges which can be considerable on a long call during business
If you plan to stay at your present address for only a few more
months, stop paying the bill and call like crazy. After a month you get the
regular bill which you avoid paying. Another month goes by and the next bill
comes with last month's balance added to it. Shortly thereafter you get a note
advising you that your service will be terminated in ten days if you don't pay
the bill. Wait a few days and send them a five or ten dollar money order with
a note saying you've had an accident and are pressed for funds because of
large medical bills, but you'll send them the balance as soon as you are up
and around again. That will hold them for another month. In all, you can
stretch it out for four or five months with a variety of excuses and small
payments. This also works with the gas and electric companies and with any
department stores you conned into letting you charge.
You can get the service deposit reduced to half of the normal
rate if you are a student or have other special qualifications. Surprisingly,
these rates and discounts vary from area to area, so check around before you
go into the business office for your phone. There is an incredible 50 cents
charge per month for not having your phone listed. If you want an unlisted
phone, you can avoid this fee by having the phone listed in a fictitious name,
even if the bill is sent to you. Just say you want your roommate's name listed
instead of your own.
Steal This Book