Tell it to Florence

"I decided to devote my life to telling the story because I felt that having survived I owe something to the dead. And anyone who does not remember betrays them again."
- Elie Wiesel

This week, the following headline appeared in American newspapers:

"Dairy Product Allergy Is All In The Mind"

I've seen the story on pro-dairy sites. I've heard the story reported on radio.
I've seen the story reported on television news. It's all over the Internet.

The May 8, 2011 story first appeared in the London Daily Mail newspaper which quoted an Italian study. It then appeared in an Indian newspaper, then it hit America's media fanned by...well, you know who.

So, reaction to dairy is all in the mind? Good! Having been overruled by a majority of ignorant fools, I am now ready to retire...but...I remain haunted by the death of a gold-medal winning American Olympic heroine who posed for a milk mustache ad. Her name was Florence Griffith Joyner. No woman in the history of track and field has ever run faster than Florence. She died at age 38.

Florence's final meal was pizza. Fifteen hours later she died and the coroner found a 250 cubic centimeter brick of undigested mozzarella cheese in her stomach.

She had one drug in her system, Benadryl, an antihistamine.

Her organs were, in the coroner's words, "acutely congested with mucus."

No allergic reaction? Tell it to Florence. Tell it to her husband, Al. Tell it to their daughter, Mo-Jo.

She died with finger marks on her throat. CSI fans know these marks to be called "petechial marks." Police suspected that she was murdered. Turns out, the marks came from her own fingers, as she choked to death while gasping for air which could not compete with the mucus in her lungs, trachea and bronchioles.

Will pizza kill you? Probably not. Millions of people eat pizza every year while only ten thousand or so die from their allergic reactions, which the dairy industry assures consumers are non-allergenic.

The coroner's official cause of death:

"Grand Mal epileptic Seizure due to positional asphyxia."

Positional asphyxia often tragically occurs when prisoners in custody are choked by overzealous police officers. That did not happen to Florence.

With grand mal epileptic seizures, lips and tongue and cheeks show bite marks. Florence's lips and tongue and cheeks were unmarked and intact.

No allergic reaction to cheese? Tell it to Florence. Additional evidence:

"Death is always around the corner, but often our society gives it inordinate help.
- Carter Burwell

Robert Cohen

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