Practical Issues > Health - Index > Vegan Index
South Dakota's Un-Sick Sense of Humor

Date: Dec 9, 2013 7:58 AM

"A nationwide study published by the USDA in 1996 found that 78.6 percent of the ground beef contained microbes that are spread primarily by fecal matter. The medical literature on the causes of food poisoning is full of euphemisms and dry scientific terms: coliform levels, aerobic plate counts... Behind them lies a simple explanation for why eating hamburger meat makes you sick: There is shit in the meat."
-- Eric Schlosser, Fast Food Nation

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South Dakota legislators have passed a new RAW MILK standard which will become law today, December 11th, 2013.

The law puts into effect a new rule which prohibits more than 10,000 coliform bacteria per liter of milk.

These coliform bacteria are appropriately named, as they are commonly found teeming within the colon of mammals. Such bacteria give cow's milk a distinctively comforting bouquet to milk and cheese lovers.

Coliform bacteria such as E. coli and Salmonella come directly from the stinky-brown contents of a cow's colon or ass-to-risk. Drinking such bovine discharges can become a sickly sentence.

Colonies of coliform bacteria in milk double their number every 20 minutes so that in one hour, 10,000 will become 80,000. In two hours, 80,000 grow to 640,000. In just three hours sitting at room temperature, your liter of raw milk might contain more than 2.5 million unwanted guests.

In less than seven hours, that one-liter milk bottle can contain more coliform bacteria than the population of humans inhabiting planet Earth.

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"One thing that stands out throughout the entire year was that in South Dakota we are much more united than we are divided. Now the divided part creates news, but the united part is what moves us forward."
- Mike Rounds (Past S.D. Governor; Current Senate Candidate)

Robert Cohen

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