Great News for Cheese and Ice Cream Eaters"Overweight people
outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the
average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey,
let's get a pizza!" - Jay Leno
I would never have logically
surmised the outcome of a new study by its design. In fairness to the
other side (dairy lovers), I've got to report 'em as I see 'em, even if
the truth hurts, and in this case, I may become the butt of dairymen's
future jokes for honestly reporting something in their favor.
I found today's study in the British Medical Journal (BMJ 2009;339:b3292,
3 September 2009)
A group of British researchers have determined that
there is a correlation between thigh circumference and the risk of heart
disease and premature death.
One would assume that obese folk with
fat thighs will get heart disease more often that skinny folk,
It's just the opposite, so, the more ice cream one
eats, the fatter one's thighs will get, and according to the Brits, the
fat and obese will become heart attack proof!
the thighs of 1436 men and 1380 women participating in the Danish MONICA
project. They then followed up by monitoring all heart events and
deaths 12.5 years after the initial measurements were made.
results? The authors of the study wrote:
"A small thigh circumference
was associated with an increased risk of cardiovascular and coronary
heart diseases and total mortality in both men and women. A
threshold effect for thigh circumference was evident, with greatly
increased risk of premature death below around 60 cm. Above the
threshold there seemed to be no additional benefit of having larger
thighs in either sex."
Conclusion? The author's wrote:
"A low thigh circumference seems to be associated with an increased risk
of developing heart disease or premature death. The adverse effects of
small thighs might be related to too little muscle mass in the
region. The measure of thigh circumference might be a relevant
anthropometric measure to help general practitioners in early
identification of individuals at an increased risk of premature
morbidity and mortality."
So, if you're concerned about heart
disease, eat ice cream, butter, and cheese, and you'll simultaneously
develop fat thighs and cardiovascular protection in no time! You may
even get to buy an entirely new wardrobe. Where is Omar the tentmaker?
So, take my advice, all of you plump pudgies. Here's justification
for breaking your next New Year's resolution. Diet? Who needs a diet!
Pump iron? Head for Dairy Queen and pump milkshakes. Head for Pizza Hut
and pump down a pie with extra cheese and two greasy toppings, preferably
sausage and bacon. It's time for a totally new makeover, and that
includes Spandex for the dairy inspired mega-monster thighs.
Robert Cohen http://www.notmilk. com