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Lies about Dial Soap with Yogurt

Liar, Liar!

"A liar begins with making falsehood appear like truth, and ends with making truth itself appear like falsehood."
- William Shenstone

The sequel I would like to see, starring the Dial Soap company (Owned by Henkel Corporation):

Yesterday, something unexpected happened to me. I stopped being vegan & couldn't tell the Difference.

I got to my gym a bit late, sometime after 5 AM. I then did an hour of weights, 30 minutes on the treadmill, and another 30 minutes on the stationary bike. I was drenched in sweat, so I took a shower before my daily swim. After finishing the shower, I noticed a decal on the soap dispenser reading:

"Nourishing Body Wash
Replenishes Thirsty Skin"

My skin drank yogurt? Aaaaaaaaghhh. I have previously had a severe reaction (rash) to Latex gloves. After learning that one of the components of Latex is milk protein (casein), I now avoid Latex like the plague.

So, armed with the painful realization that my "thirsty skin" had been replenished with yogurt, I went into a mini-panic. No longer a vegan, I abandoned the word Ahimsa (harmlessness) and dialed Dial's toll-free number and asked for a medical representative. I was connected with Andy, who informed me:

"Our soap contains yogurt proteins which are healthy for your skin."

I tempered my temper upon hearing that, because I have learned that you can catch more flies with agave syrup than with Balsamic vinegar. Andy would not give me his last name, but he promised to have somebody get back to me. What he did give me was a case number which he assigned to my episode: #748044.

Andy told me that the use of yogurt in soap is "more marketing than anything else". He then revealed that there really is no yogurt in Dial body wash. I was told, "It's just chemicals."

After telling me that the soap contained "yogurt proteins which are healthy for your skin", Andy changed his mind and revealed that the formula is actually a secret, and propriety, so he could not reveal the actual contents. I reminded him that the label says: "Yogurt with Aloe."

I believed that there would be a happy ending to my story. I called again and spoke with Crystal Ivy (what a lovely name!), a second customer representative for Dial. I got to know this lovely lady quite well in the five minutes that we conversed. Crystal has yet to have children and has been working as a customer service representative for a few years. I was delighted to learn that nobody in her family has cancer or osteoporosis or Crohn's Disease. I gave Crystal the link to the Notmilk site anyway. Her toll-free number is 1-800-258-3425.

Crystal informed me that dairy is actually not an ingredient of Dial's Yogurt Soap. The proteins are actually made from Soy. She learned this from Dial's customer fact sheet which marketing people read to concerned usrs. I was again told by a second Dial representative that the use of the word "yogurt" is merely a marketing tool based on the assumption that consumers are friendly with yogurt.

Not this consumer. I told her that I am not, and neither are other vegans who avoid eating, drinking, and bathing their private parts in cow fluids.

In other words, I spent many hours thinking that my skin absorbed milk protein, and that I was technically no longer a vegan. Wrong. I remain a vegan who washes with soy. Is it soy yogurt? Not a chance. Although the yogurt essence is a proprietary formula, I was first told that it's just chemicals that fool the user into believing that he is bathing his skin in yogurt which replenishes thirsty skin.

After speaking with Mrs. Ivy, her supervisor called back. Roselyn Bell described herself as Dial's Customer Service manager. Mrs. Bell read to me from Dial's fact sheet describing their thirst-quenching skin soap as dairy-free, and made with soy. I asked her what about people with soy sensitivity? She informed me that there is no such thing, but it is not dairy, so I had nothing to worry about.

Just to be on the safe side, I then called Dial back and reached a company scientist. Dr. Vilanvrino described himself as "the company toxicologist."

He first told me that dial contained no dairy, but he would check with company formulation scientists to be absolutely sure. A few hours later, Dr. Vilanvrino called back to inform me that the Dial soap did indeed contain a tiny amount of dairy. I told him that was unacceptable to me. He explained that it was "only" about one tenth of one percent, or in a 100 gram portion, there would only be 1,000 milligrams of "hydrolized dairy yogurt powder."

I then asked Dr. Vilanvrino if he was indeed a toxicologist. He confirmed that he was. I then asked if it would be ok to meet so that I could bring 1,000 milligrams of arsenic to put into his drink, or perhaps 1,000 milligrams of feces. He laughed, and said, "I see your point" and abruptly ended the conversation.

I recall the McDonald's suit a few years ago in which McDonald's was sued because their French Fries were cooked in an oil containing animal byproduct flavorings. McDonald's lost the suit because they deceived consumers, much the same way I was initially deceived and then lied to by Dial.

McDonald's lost and paid a $10 million penalty.

So, I called Dial's legal department and left a message for their attorney, Steve Bauman. I received a return phone call from Mr. Bauman's corporate boss, John Preysner, Esq., Henkel Corporation's lead attorney.

Mr. Henkel and I had a very long conversation. He was aware of the details of the McDonal's suit. We discussed the similarities, but he called back to read be the false company line that there was no dairy in Dial soap, despite the fact that Dial describes their soap as "Yogurt soap."

That will be Dial's dishonest defense, despite the fact that the company toxicologist told me that cow's milk yogurt hydrolyzed protein was used and that there were 1,000 milligrams per 100-gram portion.

So...if you see me tomorrow morning in the gym shower, you might hear my use of a profane word or two against the company which fooled me into believing that I had sacrificed my vegan values, and if I do use expletives, I might then be forced to wash my own mouth out with... Dial soy essence. Forget that. I will be bringing my own vegan soap.

The time for corporate deception to consumers must end. The time for lies must end. A related YouTube video:

Robert Cohen

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