"A liar begins with making falsehood appear like truth,
and ends with making truth itself appear like falsehood."
- William Shenstone
The sequel I would like to see, starring the Dial
Soap company (Owned by Henkel Corporation):
Yesterday, something unexpected happened to me.
I stopped being vegan & couldn't tell the Difference.
I got to my gym a bit late, sometime after 5 AM.
I then did an hour of weights, 30 minutes on the
treadmill, and another 30 minutes on the stationary
bike. I was drenched in sweat, so I took a shower
before my daily swim. After finishing the shower,
I noticed a decal on the soap dispenser reading:
"Nourishing Body Wash
DIAL YOGURT WITH ALOE
Replenishes Thirsty Skin"
My skin drank yogurt? Aaaaaaaaghhh. I have previously
had a severe reaction (rash) to Latex gloves. After
learning that one of the components of Latex is milk
protein (casein), I now avoid Latex like the plague.
So, armed with the painful realization that my "thirsty
skin" had been replenished with yogurt, I went into a
mini-panic. No longer a vegan, I abandoned the word
Ahimsa (harmlessness) and dialed Dial's toll-free
number and asked for a medical representative. I was
connected with Andy, who informed me:
"Our soap contains yogurt proteins which are healthy
for your skin."
I tempered my temper upon hearing that, because I
have learned that you can catch more flies with
agave syrup than with Balsamic vinegar. Andy
would not give me his last name, but he promised
to have somebody get back to me. What he did give
me was a case number which he assigned to my
Andy told me that the use of yogurt in soap is "more
marketing than anything else". He then revealed that
there really is no yogurt in Dial body wash. I was
told, "It's just chemicals."
After telling me that the soap contained "yogurt
proteins which are healthy for your skin", Andy
changed his mind and revealed that the formula is
actually a secret, and propriety, so he could not
reveal the actual contents. I reminded him that the
label says: "Yogurt with Aloe."
I believed that there would be a happy ending to my story.
I called again and spoke with Crystal Ivy (what a lovely
name!), a second customer representative for Dial. I got
to know this lovely lady quite well in the five minutes
that we conversed. Crystal has yet to have children
and has been working as a customer service representative
for a few years. I was delighted to learn that nobody
in her family has cancer or osteoporosis or Crohn's
Disease. I gave Crystal the link to the Notmilk site
anyway. Her toll-free number is 1-800-258-3425.
Crystal informed me that dairy is actually not an
ingredient of Dial's Yogurt Soap. The proteins are
actually made from Soy. She learned this from Dial's
customer fact sheet which marketing people read to
concerned usrs. I was again told by a second Dial
representative that the use of the word "yogurt"
is merely a marketing tool based on the assumption
that consumers are friendly with yogurt.
Not this consumer. I told her that I am not, and
neither are other vegans who avoid eating, drinking,
and bathing their private parts in cow fluids.
In other words, I spent many hours thinking that
my skin absorbed milk protein, and that I was
technically no longer a vegan. Wrong. I remain a
vegan who washes with soy. Is it soy yogurt? Not a
chance. Although the yogurt essence is a proprietary
formula, I was first told that it's just chemicals that
fool the user into believing that he is bathing his skin
in yogurt which replenishes thirsty skin.
After speaking with Mrs. Ivy, her supervisor called
back. Roselyn Bell described herself as Dial's
Customer Service manager. Mrs. Bell read to me from
Dial's fact sheet describing their thirst-quenching
skin soap as dairy-free, and made with soy. I asked her
what about people with soy sensitivity? She informed
me that there is no such thing, but it is not dairy,
so I had nothing to worry about.
Just to be on the safe side, I then called Dial back
and reached a company scientist. Dr. Vilanvrino
described himself as "the company toxicologist."
He first told me that dial contained no dairy, but
he would check with company formulation scientists
to be absolutely sure. A few hours later, Dr. Vilanvrino
called back to inform me that the Dial soap did indeed
contain a tiny amount of dairy. I told him that was
unacceptable to me. He explained that it was "only"
about one tenth of one percent, or in a 100 gram
portion, there would only be 1,000 milligrams of
"hydrolized dairy yogurt powder."
I then asked Dr. Vilanvrino if he was indeed a
toxicologist. He confirmed that he was. I then asked
if it would be ok to meet so that I could bring 1,000
milligrams of arsenic to put into his drink, or
perhaps 1,000 milligrams of feces. He laughed, and said,
"I see your point" and abruptly ended the conversation.
I recall the McDonald's suit a few years ago in which
McDonald's was sued because their French Fries were cooked
in an oil containing animal byproduct flavorings. McDonald's
lost the suit because they deceived consumers, much the same
way I was initially deceived and then lied to by Dial.
McDonald's lost and paid a $10 million penalty.
So, I called Dial's legal department and left a message for
their attorney, Steve Bauman. I received a return phone call
from Mr. Bauman's corporate boss, John Preysner, Esq.,
Henkel Corporation's lead attorney.
Mr. Henkel and I had a very long conversation. He
was aware of the details of the McDonal's suit. We
discussed the similarities, but he called back to read be
the false company line that there was no dairy in Dial soap,
despite the fact that Dial describes their soap as "Yogurt
That will be Dial's dishonest defense, despite the fact
that the company toxicologist told me that cow's milk yogurt hydrolyzed protein
was used and that there were 1,000
milligrams per 100-gram portion.
So...if you see me tomorrow morning in the gym shower,
you might hear my use of a profane word or two against
the company which fooled me into believing that I had
sacrificed my vegan values, and if I do use expletives,
I might then be forced to wash my own mouth out with...
Dial soy essence. Forget that. I will be bringing my own
The time for corporate deception to consumers must end.
The time for lies must end. A related YouTube video: