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Copenhagen Zoo Kills Four Healthy Staff Members To Make Space for New Employees (satire)

 

Copenhagen Zoo Kills Four Healthy Staff Members To Make Space for New Employees COPENHAGEN (The Global Edition) -- The Copenhagen Zoo has killed several of its staff members early this morning in order to create four new job openings, the Zoo public relations sector reported.

Officials of the Zoo say that the four members of the staff were humanely executed after being put to sleep with a lethal injection, and then skinned and chopped up while visitors crowded around and the meat was fed to the lion population.

"Based on the recommendation of the European Association of Work and Organizational Psychology (EAWOP), we have decided to make space for new work positions, because the Zoo needs new workers, and we found that killing old staff members was the cheapest and the most efficient way to do it," said Zoo spokesman Tobias Stenbaek Bro "Four of the oldest staff members, among them one female, were put to sleep with a lethal injection and then fed to the giraffes.

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http://www.theglobaledition.com/copenhagen-zoo-kills-four-healthy-staff-members-to-make-space-for-new-employees/



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