Two guys are on the top of a cliff. The first puts two parrots under his armpits and leaps off. The second puts two budgies under his armpits and does likewise. As you can imagine, they both reach terminal velocity fairly quickly, hit the ground hard, and survive by pure luck and a very soft piece of ground at the bottom. Waking up several days later in intensive care the first one says, “I don’t think much of this parrotgliding”, to which the other replies, “No kidding. The budgie jumping really stinks too!”   I was at the neighborhood video store tonight, and they have an X-rated room with saloon style doors to separate it from the rest of the store. I was standing fairly close to these doors (on the outside) and here comes this Congo Grey waddling out from under the doors saying in a distressed voice “Ohhh boy, Ohhh boy, Where’s Mom?” I almost hit the floor in hysterics. His mom came and picked him up looking rather embarrassed, at about the same time that dad came out of the X-rated room. She said that that’s what he, the bird, says when he’s going around the house looking for her. Personally I think dad was showing him some of the covers on those video boxes and the bird was tattling.   The FAA has a device for testing the strength of windshields  on airplanes. They point this thing at the windshield of the  aircraft and shoot a dead chicken at about the speed the air-craft normally fly at it. If the windshield doesn’t break, it’s likely to survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The British had recently built a new locomotive that could pull a train faster than any before it. They were not sure that its windshield was strong enough so they borrowed the testing device from the FAA, reset it to approximately the maximum speed of the locomotive, loaded in the dead chicken, and fired. The bird went through the windshield, broke the engineer’s chair, and made a major dent in the back wall of the engine cab. They were quite surprised with this result, so they asked the FAA to check the test to see if everything was done correctly. The FAA checked everything and suggested that they might want to repeat the test using a thawed chicken.