There was once a pub landlord who had a pet parrot. The parrot used to live in the pub's bar and was much admired by all the regulars.

Unfortunately, one day the parrot was chased out of the pub by a cat and was killed as it flew into the traffic on the busy road outside. The pub landlord was heart broken.

For the following year when the pub was closed, the landlord was sure he sometimes heard his parrot talking to him. A year to the day after the parrot died, the landlord was sitting in his pub after closing time doing the pub's accounts. He looked up and saw the ghost of his dead parrot.

"Hello" said the landlord "what are you doing here"

"I'm a parrot who can't rest" replied the parrot "I can't go to parrot heaven and I've been stuck here as a ghost for the past year"

"What's the matter" asks the landlord "can I help?"

"Well" says the parrot "when I was run over by the traffic outside, my tail came off. I can't go to heaven until my tail is put back on, I've had to carry it with me for the past year. Can you put my tail back on me?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do that" replied the landlord "it would be against the law"

"Why would it be against the law?" asked the parrot ghost.

"Well" said the landlord "I'm a licensed pub landlord and it's against the law for me to re-tail spirits after closing time"!!!