My parrot lays square eggs.
That's amazing! Can it talk as well?
Yes, but only one word.
What's that?
Ouch!

How do you know you are haunted by a parrot?
He keeps saying "Oooo's a pretty boy then?"

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.

"I'd like a cheap parrot, please," an old lady said to a pet shop owner.
"This one's cheap and it sings The Star-Spangled Banner."
"Never mind that," said the customer. "Is it tender?"

Miss: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?
Stella: For a parrot to perch on, miss.

Did you hear that Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler Crackers are going to merge...
They are going to become Polly Warner Cracker!


A guy went into a pub with a pink parrot on his shoulder, his suit was pink, his shirt was pink, his shoes and socks were pink, he had a pink tie and he was topped of with a pink hat.
    A chap at the bar says "where did you get him from"
    The parrot replies "I got him from a junk shop"!


What do you call a parrot who goes out in the rain wearing a mac and carrying an umbrella?
    Polyunsaturated!
What do you call a dead parrot?
    Polygon!
What do parrots take for headaches?
    Parrotcetamol!
Where is parrot heaven?
    Parrotdise!
What do you call a whole pile of budgies, parrots, macaws, cockatiels all in one cage?
    Polyglot!
What is a parrots favorite sport?
    Parrotgliding!