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Humor - Index
You may be a Birding Fanatic if...
You rise before 4 a.m. to see a dull brown bird that doesn't even sing well.
You keep a list of birds seen on television.
You read Birdchat before your first cup of coffee.
You keep so many bird lists that you have to keep a list of
You are constantly irritated by "inappropriate" background birdsongs in
movies (e.g., Chiffchaff in Washington D.C., Common Loons yodeling in rural
France, Wood Thrushes in the Rockies, etc.,).
A raging thunderstorm accompanied by tornados can't wake you up in the
morning, but the song of a new yard bird out the window does!
You have more money invested in optics than automobiles.
You plan your business trips and visits to kids in college to coincide
with birding hotspots and migrations.
You keep a list of plaster bird yard ornaments seen in your travels.
You keep a list of birds seen and identified in your
You look forward to hurricanes and tornadoes because you think they will
blow some unusual birds your way (actually, this would probably qualify you
as a birding psychopath).
You choose to bird near foreign military installations (even after
you get arrested)
You eat meat, but not poultry.
You choose a spouse because of their perceived birding
You have had at least one automobile accident because you were looking at a
bird instead of the road.
You ask your birding buddy what she did in the Grand Canyon and she
describes driving up to the entrance gates and asking where the sewage ponds
are-and that seems absolutely rational and appropriate to you.
You say shhhhh to get your dog to stop barking and he thinks
it means to run outside and look up.
Your co-workers excitedly take you to see dead birds they find outside the
building so you can tell them what kind of bird it is.
You have gotten more than one ticket for moving violations while trying
to find or get to a bird.
You think getting in a traffic accident looking for a bird is fine if the
bird was worth it.
Someone is trying to sell you some swamp land in a 3rd world country and
you actually are interested!
You set up a baby monitor OUTSIDE to listen to
You get up earlier on weekends to go birding than you do during the week
to go to work.
You're hopeless at remembering people's names, yet you know the scientific
names of all birds ever seen in North America.
After a six inch snowfall, you won't shovel out the driveway, or the front
steps, or the sidewalk, or the back steps, but you shovel off half the patio in
your bathrobe and boots in subzero wind-chill to spread seed on the cleared space
because your juncos are hungry...
You stay at a Bed and Breakfast but don't stay long enough to eat the