March 20, 2014
Fur farmers distribute new "Wanted" poster to convenience stores, coffee
The fur industry’s hunt for the Animal Liberation Front just got weirder.
After the Fur Commission issued bulletins telling fur farmers to
call the police if their address is on the internet, and to be on alert for
release of the new Earth Crisis album, they may have topped themselves with
their latest move: A hilarious Animal Liberation Front "Wanted" poster.
Fur farmers have been sent this poster and encouraged to distribute it near
their farms, hoping it will lead to the capture of the Animal Liberation Front.
The Fur Commission has instructed farmers to:
"..post [the wanted poster] to bulletin boards in your area. All-night
convenience stores on major highways are a prime location, as are coffee shops
and 'vegan' restaurants/markets.'"
No explanation is offered as to why a Midwest gas station is a strategic
location to court tipsters, why the word "vegan" is put in quotes as though it
is obscure slang, or how a hokey stock photo of a burglar might aid in the ALF’s
The text of the poster reads:
Animal rights extremists have been attacking family mink farms all over North
America. These attacks, besides being cruel and traumatic to the animals, are
federal crimes and fall under the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act. Hundreds of
animals have now suffered and painfully died due to these assaults on hard
working families and their farms. The perpetrators are not heroes, or idealists;
they are felons that break into and destroy people’s livelihood, terrorizing
families in the dead of night. In order to help stop these offenses, Fur
Commission USA is offering a $5,000 reward for information leading to the arrest
and conviction of those responsible.
After 10 fur farm raids in 5 months, the fur industry has gotten desperate. So
desperate, they are apparently willing to embarrass themselves by using a wanted
poster template reminiscent of one found in mall photo booths in the vain hopes
a tipster will stumble upon their plea at an Idaho gas station.
If you see the man in the above photo, you know what to do.
New ALF guide puts fur farmers on alert
Fugitive Moves to Third on Most Wanted Terrorists List
Fur Farmers Release Guide to Preparing for ALF Raid